Celebrating a Major Milestone and God's Grace

Today we achieved a major milestone in Daniel's chemotherapy schedule. This afternoon, Andrea and Daniel went into Riley to receive the last 3 intramuscular injections of the last drug of the last division of the last intensive phase of chemotherapy.  We're a long way from being completely done with the chemo, but from here on out we'll be in what's called the "Maintenance" phase which, other than a few oral drugs, amounts to only one clinic visit a month.  All the really intensive stuff is now OVER!!!!  YIPPPEEEEEEE!!!!  :-D :-D :-D

Don't misunderstand me here, what remains is still not going to be easy.  We're in for more than 2-1/2 years of monthly visits, each one of which will include a spinal tap, a couple of IV chemo drugs, and ongoing oral meds including many rounds of steroids.  We're not out of the woods, but we do feel like we've just emerged from a very long, dark tunnel deep underground.  For that, we are VERY, very thankful!

Over the past couple of weeks, I've been trying to figure out how best to celebrate this major event.  I consider it to be the 2nd most important milestone of the whole chemo course (the 1st of course being the end of it all - which will probably be Monday 4/27/2015 Lord willing).  Unfortunately, most of what I came up with hasn't really worked out ... at least not yet.  Over the coming days & weeks we'll still likely include a few more activities and a gift or two in celebration of his achievement.  But for tonight, our celebration amounted to a (very) nice dinner for the 3 of us and a short awards ceremony.  I'd intended to have a nice gift for him, but as it turns out, he probably didn't really want what I was going to get him anyway (thank you Lord that they weren't in stock today!)

I told Daniel he could pick any restaurant he wanted tonight - "the sky's the limit".  Well he came pretty close to hitting that limit, but we thoroughly enjoyed the nice meal downtown.  We wandered around the mall for a bit and then came home and I was frantically trying to put together an award (that I spaced doing earlier) before he got too tired.  I didn't make it.  By the time I had it ready, Andrea informed me he'd just gone up to bed.  I had to actually drag him back downstairs to do my little ceremony.  He wasn't very happy with that, but he did enjoy what I did for him.

Because of his new-found love of military things, I chose to award him with a genuine Purple Heart medal.  Now before all the vets jump on me about this, let me state a few things up front.  First of all, yes it's legal, I checked.  Second, this is in NO WAY intended to detract from or in any way even compare to those who have earned this honor in service to our country. You have our undying respect and gratitude and IMO the possession of a chunk of medal is not what grants one entrance to the true Order Of The Purple Heart.  Because I knew (and explained it anyway) that Daniel would understand these things, and because he has most legitimately also been wounded (countless times in countless ways) in a very real battle for his own life, and because of his own love for military things, I chose this honor as most befitting what he has been through. I know that it will be cherished and respected for what it really means as well as what it means to him personally and, for me, I believe it's a fitting gift.

What it's really meant to illustrate is that this has very definitely been a war ... a war no 10 year old should ever have to fight ... yet here we are and so we must be victorious.  The enemy may be firing bullets, mortars, and artillery rounds at us, but there are SEVERAL very real enemies with every real weapons, and they are just as lethal to my son's life.  Our enemies are both physical (cancer), emotional (fear, depression, defeat) and spiritual (Satan and his host) and any one of them could (and have attempted to) take our son's life on several occasions.  He bears the scars in his body (surgeries, broken bones, no hair, more needle pricks than you can count), in his emotions, and in his spirit, but he continues to press on.  Sometimes I've literally had to carry him back from the "front lines", other times, he's pushed forward in his own strength and courage, but the battles have been relentless and multi-fronted for over 9 months now.

I've believed for a long time, that this war was not really about cancer. In fact, crazy as it may sound, I actually believe he was healed back in January when we went to visit Solomon Wickey (check the blog history if you missed that story back at the beginning).  But for whatever reason, God did not give me the all-clear to stop the chemotherapy at that time, nor has He since.  We've been in this for the long-haul, not for the cure (I believe we've already received that directly from the Lord), but for the scars.  As crazy as that may sound, we need the scars - we all do.  We don't learn, grow, toughen up, gain patience, endurance, or experience, by having an easy life.  No athlete wins the prize after spending years sitting on the couch.  It takes years of discipline, self-sacrifice, "pummeling" the body into submission (as Paul put it), and enough difficulty to build a drive to want to win.  Likewise, no soldier wins the battle without months of training, discipline, and having his "comforts" stripped away until he is molded into a fighting machine that follows orders without hesitation and reacts to danger with courage, training, a fighting spirit.

Am I saying I think God caused these events to come into our lives? Absolutely not.  Bad things happen for lots of reasons - all of which can be traced back to the presence of sin and evil in the creation at some point, but not because God made it that way.  So we never blame God for bad things.  But yes, God does allow "bad" things to come into our lives, within certain boundaries (e.g. 1 Cor 10:13), and always in accordance with a plan for both our and His greater good and glory (Rom 8:28) IF and only IF we have trusted our lives into His hands (no such promises exist for those who have not given their lives to Christ).

So without going any deeper into the theology lesson (my theology class at the Bible college begins in January! lol :), the point here is that we know we're here for the lessons God wants to teach us.  I personally believe that the outcome is assured - thought that is not to say God isn't still in charge or can't change things around if we're not "getting it".  But we're trying hard to learn / absorb / be molded by all that He brings our way.  The greatest tragedy for a Christian going through a trial is NOT that we had to go through it - but if we go through it and don't learn anything ... don't allow God to shape us and teach us, and build our character through the midst of it.

If Hannaniah, Azariah, and Mishael (more commonly known as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego) had simply obeyed king Nebuchadnezzar, they could have avoided an absolutely awful trial. But then there would not have been a Daniel chapter 3 for us to read 2600 years later either. (Well OK, there would still be a 3rd chapter, but it would be about something else).  

So we continue to pray as best we can, and ask our prayer partners to join us this way also, not to pray for the trials to end before God's timing, but that we might get the most benefit out of them.  How awful it would be to go through all this and miss the lessons they were intended to teach us!!!

Ever so slowly, we are being changed in all this. We are learning to trust God; we are learning to "not sweat the small stuff", we are learning to trust that God really is in control of all things, at all times, in all ways. 

Our "near miss" this past Friday when Daniel & Andrea were in an auto accident was a good example of this.  They were driving north on our road and about to turn right into our drive way coming home from Daniel's chemo clinic appointment.  As she slowed (brake lights and turn signals all working and on), the driver behind her was both talking on the phone, and (he says) fishing for something in his pocket ... i.e. not watching the road.  By the time he looked up, Andrea was nearly stopped in front of him.  He swerved to the right shoulder and off the road narrowly avoiding rear-ending our car.  He'd have gone completely around her if she hadn't been turning into the driveway.  But as the car turned, he hit the right, front fender - just a couple feet in front of Daniel's door!  Damage was minor, no one was hurt, the car is still driveable, and it was clearly his fault.  I was really fearful that this would freak out Daniel - who always seems to be just a heartbeat away from succumbing to the constant stress in his life anyway.  But quite to the contrary, as Andrea wrote in her earlier entry, Daniel thought it was "really cool" to have been in "his first accident".  Really?  REALLY?!  Well, thank you Lord - I can't imagine any other source of that kind of reaction.  He enjoyed even more that the police officer that showed up was a K-9 unit and Daniel got to say hi to the dog and check out the SUV cruiser for awhile.

Further demonstrating that this was in God's hands from beginning to end, as they were pulling into the driveway in the first place, she was having to navigate around a delivery truck parked there.  For a week or two prior, my cousin in Tennessee had been emailing with me to arrange a gift to get to Daniel from a woman in her prayer group that had been praying for Daniel for some time.  She'd felt led to get Daniel a gift and we'd been going through the logistics of what kind of gift, shipping, timing, all that.  And both these completely unrelated chains of events came together in such a way that, one of the nicest gifts Daniel has ever received was there waiting for him to take his mind off this situation that COULD HAVE BEEN really bad within only split-second differences in timing or locations.  By the time I got home from work, they'd both forgotten completely about the accident and it's just been a non-issue for us entirely.  What an incredible "coincidence"! :-)  Of course not - God knew and has always known exactly what He was doing it and His timing is perfect in all things.  The more and the faster we all come to rely on that understanding, the better off and the better disciples we will be.

As always, thank you all for your continued prayers, thoughts, notes, comments, and gifts.  

I added a couple pictures to the CaringBridge album - one of the damage to the car, and the other of Daniel receiving his purple heart. For more pics of each, visit our Facebook Album at the links below.

Grace and Peace,

- Tim -

Accident damage Pics:  https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151256007479913.517334.665739912&type=1&l=71b484b088

Purple Heart Award Pics: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151256015774913.517335.665739912&type=1&l=12e373849b 

Follow us on CaringBridge at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/danieljmiller

Thankful For Nothing!!

Today we finally got the results back from Daniel’s most important bone marrow test that took place last Friday (2/3/12). This was “Day 29” or the final day of the first phase of his treatment.  This test was the one that would tell us (A) how well he responded to the first and most critical phase of treatment, and (B) how to proceed with the rest of his treatment over the next two years.  As I’ve written about previously, the goal for the first phase was to get him into Full Remission by Day 29.  This is determined by the “preliminary results” that are obtained usually within an hour after the test is performed by a lab right there at the hospital.  They look at a relatively small (tiny actually) blood sample microscopically and count the number of cancer cells found.  When the number reaches zero, he’s considered to be in “remission” or “Cancer Free”.  This does NOT mean he’s actually 100% cancer free though (go figure) – only in terms of that particular test.  A much more rigorous test is then performed by a specialized lab that takes a few days to complete and obtain results.  This is called a “Minimal Residual Disease” or MRD test and a sample of blood literally thousands of times larger is examined by special computer processes to look for more cancer cells.  Here, the goal is to get him to 0.01% cancer cells in his blood by Day 29.

We were very pleasantly surprised to find that Daniel had attained remission (the smaller test) only half way through the first phase – by Day 15.  And that same test showed him already at 0.013% MRD (the bigger test) … nearly to the end goal already.  But they indicated that, although that Day-15 testing was an important window into how the treatment was going, nothing would change based on its results.  Only the Day 29 test would make any difference.  The preliminary (smaller) test last Friday again showed zero cancer cells and that he was still in full remission.  And we’ve been waiting for the (bigger) MRD test results until this morning.  They showed that he had no only achieved the goal of 0.01%, but actually all the way to 0.00 – zilch, nothing, nada, not a single cancer cell was detected in the test.  Obviously we couldn’t be happier!  And as my title suggests, we are extremely THANKFUL for the test results showing NOTHING in the way of cancer cells (sorry, I couldn’t resist the title. :)

I asked the doctor whether this was something unusual (still hoping for a confirmation that our trip to see Solomon Wickey had produced something out of the ordinary (aka “supernatural”), but alas it’s not too terribly uncommon to have a 0.00% result on this test.  It is however, no less wonderful and worthy of celebration.  Whether through the efforts of doctors, Solomon Wickey, or the hundreds of faithful friends and family who have continued to lift Daniel up daily in prayers and fasting, one thing is clear – God has working in the life of our little boy to bring him through this ordeal and back to health.  A long and difficult road remains ahead short of some confirmation that this is no longer necessary (that was a hint, Lord! :), but we are extremely grateful to our Lord that Daniel is doing so well.  Our battle continues with the compounding side effects of the medications and the on-going susceptibility to infection during these next couple of months (not to mention the psychological impacts that Daniel has been struggling with more recently).   

Tuesday (Valentine’s Day), Daniel begins the 2^nd phase of chemotherapy and will be going in weekly for the most part on Tuesdays now.  Thanks again to all of you who think of us, read our posts, and / or pray for Daniel.  We love you and may God richly repay your kindness toward Daniel, Andrea and I.

- Tim -

Glimpses of Eternity

Most things that come into our lives, whether good or bad, come and go without us ever really recognizing any eternal significance.  We tend not to question the good things that come our way; they’re good after all, we enjoy them for what they are and probably don’t even care whether there is significance beyond that immediate joy.  But the hard times give us pause. We wonder, perhaps hypocritically, “why did this have to happen?”  And we of faith look to God for answers.  Usually, we don’t get specifics other than a reassurance that God is in control; that all things work together for good; and trials produce patience and character and draw us closer to God.  And that is enough.  And it should be enough.  God owes none of us an explanation for what He does or why He does it, and His Master Plan is just that … HIS.  We couldn’t grasp it if we wanted to in our limited minds, knowledge, and existence.

Perhaps one of the most important lessons that can come from such times is this very recognition – God owes us no answers – and we MUST make peace with that fact.  The TRUST He expects of us, after all,  doesn’t come with qualifications: “I’ll trust you IF You tell me what’s going on”, or “IF You explain to me the eternal significance”.  Trust means we believe that God is God and we’re not.  Hope means resting in the knowledge that the future will be good because of what we know about God’s nature … so much so that we can be assured “that ALL things work together into a pattern for good” because God is Who He is.  He is loving and He is love itself.  He is righteous and righteousness itself.  He is graciousness and He is grace itself.  He is good and He is goodness.  For Love, Righteousness, and Grace do not exist apart from Him. They have their definition and existence in His character.  As I wrote in an earlier post, we can never hold God’s actions up against some independent standard of love, or righteousness, or grace because no such standard exists.  He IS the standard and these ideas exist in the first place because of Who He is.  Without God, there is no such thing as love or righteousness or grace.   And one of the most important and foundational truths that we can learn as we see Christian maturity is to trust Him for all things, at all times, in every situation, without explanation, without excuse, and without WHINING!  

The purpose of this life is NOT to make us happy and give us an easy time of it.  In fact, we’ve been promised quite the opposite – that this life will be difficult, the path will be narrow, and it will be filled with trials.  Learning these truths does not make it much easier to go through the dark valleys, but it does help process the things God allows to come our way and helps keep our focus on the Way forward.  I’ve heard it taught that we shouldn’t pray for God to remove the trials from our lives, but rather that the lessons they bring would not be lost.  That’s sound wisdom.  I’m afraid I’m not quite there yet though and I most certainly find myself regularly praying for deliverance and a swift end to suffering, be it my own or my loved ones.  Maybe one day I’ll be better at that part.  But when the answer comes back “Not yet”, it’s a little easier to understand why when I recognize my place in His eternal perspective.

Nevertheless, every once in awhile, He does give us the gift of a small glimpse into His plan – into the eternal clockworks of the awesome machinery that drives the universe forward according to His will and design.  We should always be extremely grateful when He allows us such insights, no matter how tiny.  And the glimpse I received a few days ago, if that’s even what it was, is indeed a tiny one.  But it brought me great joy to see the working of God’s hand in our lives and to be able to assign even a little “purpose” to an event that had actually caused great pain in my family’s and my lives.

If you’ve followed recent event in my blog here at all, you probably know about the misdiagnosis of Daniel’s leukemia that happened a couple weeks ago.  After having been told that Daniel’s condition was a more easily treatable type of disease and that the current success rate was in the 90-95% range, we got a devastating blow.  A very specialized cytogenetic test was done and when the results came back, they indicated that Daniel had a rare condition that was linked to a much lower probability of success.  In an instant, his prognosis dropped from 95% down to 60% or lower.  I briefly described the sensation of the world collapsing in around me in that instant and my own inability to even breathe.  There were some sleepless nights, enormous amounts of prayer, and a wrestling match with Fear that would have put Rocky to shame.  All of this served as an indicator of my own poor faith and shone the light on a number of areas that needed improvement.  But it also prompted a single text message to a good friend that set off a chain reaction resulting in a trip the following day to see an Amish healer named Solomon Wickey.  

I wrote briefly about this trip in an earlier post, but to summarize, we were granted a rare “emergency” appointment with this man who is known and respected literally world-wide for his healing ministry and has literally healed thousands of people from life-threatening and terminal diseases over his 30+ years of ministry.  We were in his presence for not much more than 10-15 minutes and he pronounced Daniel as having been “released” from the disease that was threatening his life.  We weren’t sure what to think.  We’re STILL not sure what to think.  I continue to await God’s direct confirmation to me of Daniel’s complete deliverance from Leukemia, but until that happens I feel I have no choice but to continue forward with the traditional approach – hoping – praying – believing that he is in fact completely healed.  And though the doctors reported only a few days later that Daniel had in fact responded ASTOUNDINGLY well to the first 2 weeks of treatment and was unexpectedly already in complete remission (they neglected to use the word “miraculous” of course! :-) I still don’t feel I have enough confirmation to pull him off of the chemotherapy.  Only about 2 days later, the doctors discovered a mistake in the interpretation of the genetic testing results and immediately came back to us stating that he was NOT in a super-high risk category after all.  His prognosis was still in fact in the 90-95% range and they apologized for the error.  Obviously, this was a huge relief to everyone and we thanked God for, in a sense, restoring our son to us (ala Abraham & Isaac in Gen 22)  But anyway, that’s not the point of this story.

It was a couple weeks later before it finally dawned on me that, had the doctor’s error in interpreting the test results not occurred – the tiny mistake that made for perhaps the darkest and most difficult weekend of my life thus far – I almost certainly would never have made the trip up to see Solomon Wickey.  And though I don’t know the results of that trip for certain, I tend to believe that some miraculous things happened at that time in all our lives.  And so the “lights came on” about how, in just this tiny little instance, God in fact kept His promise in a powerful way … that something that had the appearance of evil DID in fact work together into a pattern for good.  His hand was there at work the whole time, through the whole ordeal.  Not only was the trip up to see Solomon prompted, but I learned a number of things about areas in my own life needing work as well as some areas where God has already made improvements in me.  An enormous amount of prayer support was generated, and also wheels were set in motion that we believe will be bringing forth a series of events to help bring awareness, raise money, and bring additional glory to God through some good friends of ours (but more on that another time).  

It was literally in the same few minutes that I received this small revelation that God brought another thought to my mind.  If you’ve read my previous blogs, you’ve already seen this, but I had been contemplating (for obvious reasons now), Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”  Suddenly, the word “ALL” came to the center of my attention.  I’ve literally heard entire sermons preached on the meaning and significance of this word in the context of this passage.  It’s a powerful word.  But what made it especially significant to ME at this particular point in time was the recognition that these 3 letters A-L-L are also those used in the abbreviation of Daniel’s particular brand of leukemia.  It’s properly titled “Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia” – A.L.L.  And so, right after God’s revelation of how He had used the doctors’ mistake to in fact bring a unique blessing into our lives, He pointed out that … EVEN “A.L.L. things work together for good for those who love God…”

-          - Tim -

More Good News Today

(Mirroring Post on Caring Bridge)

We got some good news from last week's blood test results today. I'd forgotten to check back with them earlier in the week regarding the portion of the blood test that takes several days to get results back, but I reminded Andrea to ask them today during the weekly chemo visit.  This is the much deeper analysis of his bone marrow aspiration that looks for cancerous cells.  You may recall that the hospital does a "quick look" within just a few minutes of the procedure and we got those results back right away pronouncing that he was in full "remission" last Friday.  They found ZERO cancerous cells in that quick look analysis even though they know there are still some cancer cells lurking around in there ... that's what this deeper test is for.

They told us the goal is to get the total cancer cell ("blast cell") count down to 0.01%.  I believe this is what they hope to achieve by the end of the first month of treatment.  The results from last Friday came back at 0.013% - within just a hair's breadth of the goal already.  Andrea said one of the other doctors dropped by just to let her know how unusual this good a result is this early in the treatment plan.  I wish I'd been there to fire off my usual plethora of questions to them, but this is the first visit I haven't attended (trying desperately to catch up on all the work I've missed!)  Regardless, the news couldn't be better nor fall on more receptive ears.  Although still dangerously low, his blood cell counts are beginning to climb again too - also a sign that the good (non cancerous) marrow is working again and on the path to recovery.

Whether due to the thousands of prayers going up, or the wonderful medical staff at Riley and the miracles of modern medicine, or the trip to see Solomon Wickey, or some other factor, we give all glory and praise to our loving and gracious God.  We also want to continue to express our deepest thanks to all who have labored on Daniel's behalf during this trial.  I can't imagine where we'd be without so much help and prayer from so many.  Thank you.

Daniel also picked up his new back brace today and I'll be heading home from work soon to get my first glimpse of it.  Please continue to pray for his complete recovery with the cancer, the osteoporosis, the chemotherapy side-effects, the stunted growth issues (which we still haven't addressed), and whatever is the cause of his on-going back pain.  We also ask for prayers for wisdom and perseverance as we try to make the best decisions regarding visitors, diet, and finding our "new normal" as a family.

Thanks again to all.

- Tim -

Alternative Avenues of Hope (Reposted from Caring Bridge)

I'm re-posting this entry from our Caring Bridge website for those without access.  My apologies for the Caring Bridge site making you log in.  I've tried to set the security settings such that you don't have to do this, but something appears broken on their end.  This was posted last night.

- Tim - 

Sunday, January 15, 2012 8:05 PM, EST

written by Tim Miller

Alternative Avenues of Hope

Sorry I haven't updated the journal in a couple days. It's been a busy and eventful weekend - the emotional roller-coaster continues...

Through some mutual friends, I've recently been introduced to the Amish community and frankly, been impressed with the people I've met.  I've also heard stories that are not so good but I figure, like any other time there are humans involved, you meet all sorts and you can't judge the whole by a few isolated experiences.

In this case, I was introduced to a family who is very well known within the Amish community as a healer ... kind of the Amish equivalent to a doctor, but with a far more naturalistic or "holistic" approach.  As many of you had already guessed from my few and cryptic Facebook posts, the man's name is Solomon Wickey and he lives in far north eastern Indiana near Auburn.  I didn't know much about Solomon until a good friend of mine met his son and later met Solomon and began telling me some pretty amazing stories about this man who's been healing people of pretty much everything people can have wrong with them for over 30 years.  I believe he is 73 years old now, but still seeing literally thousands and thousands of people each year at a little office constructed next to his house on the family farm.  He is reputed to have the highest rate of recovery of cancer patients of any individual or institution inside or outside the traditional medical community.  The figure I heard was 98% but I don't really know where that comes from.  I'm told that many oncologists send their patients to him on a regular basis.  His son, who worked in the "clinic" for 5 years when he was younger, told us stories about doctors themselves coming to see Solomon, but almost always after regular business hours or after dark.

People have HUGELY different opinions about Mr. Wickey and what he does but a book that was written about him (you can find it on Amazon) tells the story of how, when a court case was brought against him for supposedly practicing medicine without a license, the courtroom was filled every day with hundreds of people who had been healed by him there to testify on his behalf.  The case was eventually thrown out of court as I understand it, though he was ordered to make some changes in how he dealt with the people who came to see him.  I don't know about you, but regardless of what he does, that boils my blood.  But I won't get started on that now.

Through Solomon's son, we received permission to come see him on a Saturday (not normally a time when he sees people) and I jumped at the chance.  Regardless of what I thought might happen, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I didn't TRY every means at my disposal to help my son.  I resolved to take Daniel to see him, see what he did and said, and then make up my own mind about any results or recommendations from him.

I was also pretty sure that I was the one who was going to have the hardest time dealing with whatever happened.  If he said he couldn't do anything, I'd be right back where I started from with even fewer options in a dismal situation.  If he told me Daniel was healed and should stop chemotherapy, I was going to be faced with some enormously difficult decisions as to whether to follow any such advice and how to handle the doctors that would be convinced I was killing my son.

To skip to the end, the latter is exactly what happened.  Mr. Wickey examined all 3 of us, "tested" Daniel in his own peculiar way, examined his eyes in a practice called "iridology", prayed for him, and pronounced him "released" from leukemia the same way he has many thousands of others.  The whole thing was over in about 5 minutes and I found myself struggling to ask some intelligent questions about what to expect, how we should proceed etc.  He said it would take about 4 months for Daniel to return completely to "normal" in his blood counts and to escape the effects of the chemotherapy he'd already received.  He recommended a couple of herbal supplements that would help the body rid itself of the toxins faster.  And then we were on our way back home.

Now, as anticipated, I'm faced with the decision of what to do with this experience and how, if at all, to alter anything in Daniel's on-going medical care.  I am fully aware that if I make a wrong decision, it could easily mean Daniel's life.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of the disease, and due to the fact that Solomon indicated it would still take about 4 months for Daniel's body to return to normal, I pretty strongly believe that there exists no way for the medical community to validate Solomon's claim of complete healing.  But I'm intending to ask the doctors ... not to believe in any of this ... but simply IF such a thing had actually happened, would there be any way for them to verify it?  Now THAT should be an interesting conversation if nothing else. :)

Now before I get barraged with several hundred different opinions as to Solomon's efficacy or what I should do, let me explain how I have resolved to proceed.  First, I have no intention of taking Daniel out of the care of what is considered to be one of, if not THE, best children's hospital in the world without powerful evidence that their care is truly no longer needed.  That evidence could come by way of their own medical confirmation of Solomon's results, or it could come directly from God ... which is actually what I'm expecting to be the only avenue possible.

I figure that if God has stepped into our family supernaturally through Solomon Wickey, or any other way, and healed my son and wife of cancer to the effect that we can take one or both of them off chemotherapy, then He's fully capable of confirming that action to me as the head of my family and the one accountable to Him for their well being. So at this point, I am actively, seeking God's confirmation to me of what He has done and any changes in our path forward.  We all covet your prayers for discernment and wisdom as we seek our Father's guidance on the path forward.

The way I see it, the worst that could happen if I take Daniel off the chemotherapy is, quite bluntly, that he could die.  Even if we detect his condition deteriorating again, it may be too late to restart the therapy effectively.  On the other hand, the worst that could happen if Daniel has been healed and I leave him on the chemotherapy, then we have unnecessarily subjected him to a horrendous trial of pain and suffering, but most likely one that won't kill him.  We just have a much, MUCH higher probability of success.  So without a solid confirmation directly from my Heavenly Father Himself, I intend to stay the course. 

Now with that said, I truly desperately want to hear that God has in fact returned my son to me wholly healed and have no need to continue down this dismal path.  I have been fasting and praying this weekend and will continue to do so earnestly seeking a word from my Lord.

- Tim -