It's hard to believe. It seems at once like it was only a month ago and
also like 10 years ago. But exactly one year ago on this day (the 5th
as I write this), Daniel went in for a scheduled doctor visit to a
specialist at Riley Hospital for Children. He'd been having a lot of
awful symptoms for a month or more and I had had it with waiting around
on doctors to take us seriously. I let this doctor have an ear full
of my frustration and she patiently listened to me and, thankfully, took
me seriously. She ordered an immediate blood test and called me back
within a few hours after I'd returned to work. She said she'd
taken the liberty of scheduling another appointment for us the
following morning for a bone marrow biopsy. I was happy she was being
so proactive. Little did I know what she suspected.
The next day, Friday 1/6/2012, the biopsy test came back positive for leukemia and our entire world stopped cold. My first blog entry here tells the story, titled, "Jan 6, 2012 - A Date of Infamy". What a year it's been. We're still trying to put together our "Christmas Letter". I guess it's a "New Year's Letter" now, but it'll be out soon I promise. (I'll post it here as well).
Tonight as I tucked Daniel into bed, I'm still checking his temperature, asking how he feels, and find myself fighting the urge to panic at every cough, or ache, or decision to go to bed early. I do my best never to show TOO much concern and to temper it with a few "manly" father-to-son responses such as: "Ahh - suck it up boy", or "Walk it off - you'll be fine". But if I'm candid with myself (and you: my dear blog readers), the truth is it's a constant battle with anxiety and fear. Watching the Kellers go through the hell they endured has certainly had an enormous effect on me as well.
This year has been filled with MANY lessons - most of which I'm probably not even aware of. But if I were to name the single, greatest, most persistent challenge that's plagued me (and I presume Andrea as well, but I'll only speak for myself here) it's been the control of FEAR.
Fear is the enemy. Fear is a sin. Fear is our mind saying to God, "I don't trust You with the future. Deep down I think You either can't or won't do what's best for me". The Bible has a great deal to say about Fear. It is insidious, and must be stopped at its very onset, for the longer it continues, the tighter its hold becomes on your soul ... I know. When the Word instructs us to "take every thought captive unto the obedience of Christ" (2 Cor 10:5) it's providing us with very specific and practical instructions for dealing with such thoughts as Fear and Anxiety that can ensnare us. I'm not here to tell you I've become good at this. I haven't. But I'm better than I was a year ago today and I thank God for these lessons along the way.
That following day, Jan 6th, was easily one of the worst days of my life. I'm not sure it tops the list, but it's in the top 3 for sure! Yet God was with us every step of the way and He remains with us today. As we settle in to sleep tonight, our lives are no more or less secure than they have been on any other day. Our sense of "security" and "normalcy" is a complete illusion except insofar as it is based in the faith that God controls all things. Some of what God brings to us we enjoy, some we do not, but we can be sure ... we MUST be sure ... "that ALL things work together for good" (Rom 8:28) when we give our lives to Him. This year has seemed like one gigantic test of whether we truly believe that to be true. Some days have been better than others to be sure. But we do know, that only when we rest in Him is there any real and lasting peace, joy, comfort, rest, or security. Gradually, I'm learning to do this. Learning to trust God in ALL things - even with the life of my only son - is among the most challenging tasks I've ever been given, yet it is also clearly among the most important and eternally significant lessons any of us can learn ... ever.
We will be "celebrating" the completion of the first and, we pray, the hardest year of Daniel's chemotherapy on Monday. It's been a difficult road, but we've been amazingly, astoundingly blessed over and over and over by God's grace, His providence, His comfort, and His love directly to us as well as through so many of His wonderful people who have gathered around us. We thank you all and we thank God for all He has done, and all He continues to do.
Grace and peace to all;
- Tim -
Showing posts with label Eternal Perspective. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Eternal Perspective. Show all posts
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Thursday, December 20, 2012
On The End of the World ... "Apocalypse"? Not So Much
This post is somewhat of a rant, I'll confess up front. I've actually been enjoying, in a somewhat perverse way, all the silliness about the end of the world tomorrow (12/21/12). Most people that I know don't seem to be taking it seriously, but I know there are many who are. And I suspect that a lot more are actually harboring some secret level of "concern" about it but not letting on.
Whatever.
When much of the hubub started several months ago, I did about 10 minutes worth of digging and found enough evidence to recognize that the entire thing was based on a misrepresentation of the facts, even if you DID take the Mayan calendars & beliefs seriously. The Mayan's calendar system was, similar to most parts of ours in that it was based on "cycles" rather than "lines". By that I'm referring to the portions of our calendar that repeats itself - seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months - they all run in cycles which repeat. There are 60 seconds in a minute and then it starts over. There are 24hours in a day, 7 days in a week, etc. etc. To some extent, we even do this with years as we count numbers of centuries or millennia from a given point. However, in general, our years run in a straight line though ... they'll just keep counting up until ... well until something really big happens.
The Mayans did this too, but where are largest, named, repeating cycles are probably months, they included bigger cycles called "baktun". Each baktun was 144,000 days in length (400 years with each year being 360 days in length - yes the Mayans used 360 day years as did most ancient cultures prior to a particular date - but that's another issue. ;-) The "calendar" everyone is talking about "rolls over" or restarts at the end of each baktun in the same way our months start over at the conclusion of each yearly cycle. Once you get to the end of December, we start back at January and increment the year. The baktun cycle has started over 11 times since it was started and we are currently in the 12th baktun. The last time it rolled over (from the 11th baktun to the 12th) in the year A.D. 1618. It's probably relevant to note that the world didn't end in 1618 ... as far as we know.
Tomorrow, 12/21/12, the same thing happens and the calendar will roll over from the 12th to the 13th baktun and start the counting over again. That's it. Nothing else. About the same amount of excitement as watching the car odometer roll over from 99,999 to 100,000 miles. Cool to watch, but then you move on.
I find it fascinating that people get so hung up about these kinds of "roll-overs" and believing that they're bringing the end of the world (note I'm NOT using the word "apocalypse" - I'll come back to that in a moment. When the first millennium rolled over (the year 999 to 1000 back in medieval times, people went berserk too. We saw some of the same thing at the end of 1999 for the end of the 2nd millennium. There's probably much to be learned from the very fact that people seem to have a built-in expectation for the world to end at some point ... and they are afraid of it. All kinds of lessons there, but that's for another post.
Now for my rant. Whether the context is Nostradamus, or zombies, or Mayans, or any other non-Biblical reference to some end-of-the-world event, the use of the word "apocalypse" is wildly inappropriate. When I hear it used in these contexts, it produces a strange mixture of annoyance and amusement. The latter is because I'm pretty sure that if the people using it this way had any idea what it actually meant, they'd run away screaming hysterically, "NO! NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!" And that makes me smile. :-)
The word "apocalypse" is a transliterated Greek word (meaning it's still pretty much the original Greek word, just "Englishized" in the way it's spelled) that literally means "unveiling" in the way an artist might unveil a newly finished statue or painting. "Revealing" is a close synonym. It is the first word of the first verse of the Biblical book of Revelation and, obviously, where the book gets its title. However, what most people don't know (because they're only knowledge of the contents of the book comes from Hollywood) is that the "revelation" that is being referred to is NOT knowledge about how the world ends. In fact, contrary to popular misconception, the world does not end in the book ... EVER! It does go through some pretty rough events for a few years, but this is immediately followed by 1000 years of the greatest peace and harmony the Earth has seen since its creation. Later, it is replaced by a new Earth ... in fact a whole new Universe, but it continues onward ... forever.
So what IS revealed in the book of Revelation? Jesus Christ! His true nature, mission, and glory are revealed - first to Him (by the Father), then to His disciples (us) through the writing and publication of the book. The first line of the book is, "The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave Him to show His servants--things which must shortly take place." Although these events are referred to as "the End Times", they do not relate to the end of the world itself, but only the end of the reign of Men upon this planet - the "End of the Age" is a more appropriate understanding, or the end of God's tolerance and patience with Mankind's (and Satan's) rebellion.
So every time the word "apocalypse" is used in some relation to the end-of-the-world (zombies, Mayans, Mad Max, etc.) I have to chuckle because they are inadvertently referencing the "Revelation (apocalypse) of Jesus Christ" and the very idea that God's patience with our foolishness WILL run out. There will indeed be a resurrection of the dead, but we can be sure that it has nothing to do with zombies!
"Armageddon" is another one, but I'll not go into details here except to say that it is a Hebrew word which refers to the specific location (the Valley of Meggiddo in Israel) where the final battle will take place between Israel and the other nations of the world that initiates the Return of Jesus Christ (aka "Second Coming"). So here again, when secular people and media use the term "Armageddon" to refer to the end of the world, it's just another testament to their own ignorance as they inadvertently reference Second Coming of Jesus Christ to defeat those who have aligned themselves against Him and to usher in the Millennial age of His own Kingship over the planet Earth and all its peoples and nations.
As Christians, while there is that certain "perverse" sense of amusement that comes with watching people who have no idea what they're talking about inadvertently bear testimony to the Bible's prophecies about the Return and Preeminence of Jesus Christ, it's also an incredibly sad testimony to the ignorance of the general population and the media in particular of God's Word and what the near future holds in store for Mankind. We Christians should see this as opportunity to proclaim what the Bible teaches us about these things. The next time you hear or see someone misuse "Apocalypse" or "Armageddon", you can jump in with a friendly, "I was just wondering - do you know what that word really means?" After all, THEY brought it up! :-)
Grace, Peace, and a very merry Christmas to all;
- Tim -
Whatever.
When much of the hubub started several months ago, I did about 10 minutes worth of digging and found enough evidence to recognize that the entire thing was based on a misrepresentation of the facts, even if you DID take the Mayan calendars & beliefs seriously. The Mayan's calendar system was, similar to most parts of ours in that it was based on "cycles" rather than "lines". By that I'm referring to the portions of our calendar that repeats itself - seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months - they all run in cycles which repeat. There are 60 seconds in a minute and then it starts over. There are 24hours in a day, 7 days in a week, etc. etc. To some extent, we even do this with years as we count numbers of centuries or millennia from a given point. However, in general, our years run in a straight line though ... they'll just keep counting up until ... well until something really big happens.
The Mayans did this too, but where are largest, named, repeating cycles are probably months, they included bigger cycles called "baktun". Each baktun was 144,000 days in length (400 years with each year being 360 days in length - yes the Mayans used 360 day years as did most ancient cultures prior to a particular date - but that's another issue. ;-) The "calendar" everyone is talking about "rolls over" or restarts at the end of each baktun in the same way our months start over at the conclusion of each yearly cycle. Once you get to the end of December, we start back at January and increment the year. The baktun cycle has started over 11 times since it was started and we are currently in the 12th baktun. The last time it rolled over (from the 11th baktun to the 12th) in the year A.D. 1618. It's probably relevant to note that the world didn't end in 1618 ... as far as we know.
Tomorrow, 12/21/12, the same thing happens and the calendar will roll over from the 12th to the 13th baktun and start the counting over again. That's it. Nothing else. About the same amount of excitement as watching the car odometer roll over from 99,999 to 100,000 miles. Cool to watch, but then you move on.
I find it fascinating that people get so hung up about these kinds of "roll-overs" and believing that they're bringing the end of the world (note I'm NOT using the word "apocalypse" - I'll come back to that in a moment. When the first millennium rolled over (the year 999 to 1000 back in medieval times, people went berserk too. We saw some of the same thing at the end of 1999 for the end of the 2nd millennium. There's probably much to be learned from the very fact that people seem to have a built-in expectation for the world to end at some point ... and they are afraid of it. All kinds of lessons there, but that's for another post.
Now for my rant. Whether the context is Nostradamus, or zombies, or Mayans, or any other non-Biblical reference to some end-of-the-world event, the use of the word "apocalypse" is wildly inappropriate. When I hear it used in these contexts, it produces a strange mixture of annoyance and amusement. The latter is because I'm pretty sure that if the people using it this way had any idea what it actually meant, they'd run away screaming hysterically, "NO! NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!" And that makes me smile. :-)
The word "apocalypse" is a transliterated Greek word (meaning it's still pretty much the original Greek word, just "Englishized" in the way it's spelled) that literally means "unveiling" in the way an artist might unveil a newly finished statue or painting. "Revealing" is a close synonym. It is the first word of the first verse of the Biblical book of Revelation and, obviously, where the book gets its title. However, what most people don't know (because they're only knowledge of the contents of the book comes from Hollywood) is that the "revelation" that is being referred to is NOT knowledge about how the world ends. In fact, contrary to popular misconception, the world does not end in the book ... EVER! It does go through some pretty rough events for a few years, but this is immediately followed by 1000 years of the greatest peace and harmony the Earth has seen since its creation. Later, it is replaced by a new Earth ... in fact a whole new Universe, but it continues onward ... forever.
So what IS revealed in the book of Revelation? Jesus Christ! His true nature, mission, and glory are revealed - first to Him (by the Father), then to His disciples (us) through the writing and publication of the book. The first line of the book is, "The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave Him to show His servants--things which must shortly take place." Although these events are referred to as "the End Times", they do not relate to the end of the world itself, but only the end of the reign of Men upon this planet - the "End of the Age" is a more appropriate understanding, or the end of God's tolerance and patience with Mankind's (and Satan's) rebellion.
So every time the word "apocalypse" is used in some relation to the end-of-the-world (zombies, Mayans, Mad Max, etc.) I have to chuckle because they are inadvertently referencing the "Revelation (apocalypse) of Jesus Christ" and the very idea that God's patience with our foolishness WILL run out. There will indeed be a resurrection of the dead, but we can be sure that it has nothing to do with zombies!
"Armageddon" is another one, but I'll not go into details here except to say that it is a Hebrew word which refers to the specific location (the Valley of Meggiddo in Israel) where the final battle will take place between Israel and the other nations of the world that initiates the Return of Jesus Christ (aka "Second Coming"). So here again, when secular people and media use the term "Armageddon" to refer to the end of the world, it's just another testament to their own ignorance as they inadvertently reference Second Coming of Jesus Christ to defeat those who have aligned themselves against Him and to usher in the Millennial age of His own Kingship over the planet Earth and all its peoples and nations.
As Christians, while there is that certain "perverse" sense of amusement that comes with watching people who have no idea what they're talking about inadvertently bear testimony to the Bible's prophecies about the Return and Preeminence of Jesus Christ, it's also an incredibly sad testimony to the ignorance of the general population and the media in particular of God's Word and what the near future holds in store for Mankind. We Christians should see this as opportunity to proclaim what the Bible teaches us about these things. The next time you hear or see someone misuse "Apocalypse" or "Armageddon", you can jump in with a friendly, "I was just wondering - do you know what that word really means?" After all, THEY brought it up! :-)
Grace, Peace, and a very merry Christmas to all;
- Tim -
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Staying the Course for Joey
I've updated this blog from its original text after Nick Keller posted some additional information on Joey's MRI. The news it communicated was even worse than the original posting and frankly, after all the events of the past week nationally as well as some personally, it's been a real challenge to stay positive about anything. But I found encouragement in my own words here in this post from yesterday so I thought I'd update the info on Joey and repost it in the hope that someone else might benefit also.
Nick's post from Wed morning @ 12:40a:
"We saw the MRI. Major growth on lumbar spine, brainstem, and in temple regions sort of growing towards the center of his brain. It WAS in CSF kind of "on" his brain, now it seems its growing into and through his actual brain cells and tissue. Wicked, evil disease. We discussed hospice and the reports from all relevant medical teams was, "anything else we could do will cause more harm and damage than any potential for help or therapeutic upside." They do believe his unusually high heart is do to the cancer spot/tumor/lesion on or in his brain stem. We flat out need a miracle. Otherwise, what he will have to endure, systematic loss of brain and organ function, system failure, ventilator again, it's unthinkable. They were especially concerned looking at this MRI vs. the one just a month ago (brain) bc Its really moving quickly. We have got to pray. All those scriptures I looked up and listed in previous CB postings on faith and healing, haven't changed. The promises regarding healing...haven't changed. We've exhausted every medical option that exists (due diligence.) Now, We look to God to do what only He can. All day long I kept thinking about the Israelites looking at the Red Sea, the Egyptians racing to basically cut their throats or put them back into slavery. They thought they were dead. Or at best, had no idea how God would get them out this, this time. Slaves for 400 years, finally free, and now this??? To die here, like this? All day long I've been getting texts from buddies and pastors from those very chapters. Don't believe it's a coincidence. The thought keeps going through my head, if its not impossible, it's not a miracle. Thx for praying for our Joey. "
We Christians should see this, NOT as a sign of defeat by any means - but a call to more fervent prayer and fasting on behalf of Joey. Do not be discouraged. Do not be disheartened. God is much bigger than all of this! What appears like a setback from a worldly perspective is in fact an opportunity for God to show Himself more powerful, more loving, more gracious from a heavenly perspective. It is often God's "M.O." to ensure that all human means of "fixing" the problem have been exhausted so that, when He does move, there is no doubt to Whom the praise and glory belongs.
It is of course true that God does not always heal people of our diseases and infirmities. We live in a fallen world where sickness and death reign because of the existence of sin and evil. One day all of that will be done away with. In the mean time, we are commanded to pray for the healing of others in many places in Scripture ... to lay hands upon, to anoint with oil, to pray, and to fast for them to recover. Ultimately it is God's decision whether, how, and when to heal someone. "Prayer" has no power in itself and changes nothing on its own. We must never credit "prayer" (which is to say Our Efforts), for that which God alone can do. But we know that He commands us to pray, and we know that He chooses to work THROUGH our prayers. So our role here is as clear as it has always been. We must pray BELIEVING. We must pray for what we (and others) need, and we must pray for those things that are consistent with God's nature - life, health, wholeness, joy, and freedom from pain and suffering. These things are ALWAYS in God's will for us (and especially for 9 year old little boys!!) [Matt 7:11, Luke 11:13, etc.]
I don't claim to have an inside line on God's will in this matter - but I do believe very strongly that He has indicated on MANY occasions in the past 2 years that His will is to heal Joey. I have neither seen, heard, nor felt anything that would indicate the contrary at any time. And so I will continue to pray, with all the confidence and faith I can muster, for Joey's complete and immediate healing. If things do not go the way I believe they will, it will not shake my faith in God or in what I believe about His nature. He is God, He is good, and He is faithful. I am not qualified to judge Him to be otherwise, and no event in this fallen world that I can perceive through my limited and sinful existence can prove Him to be different. But if such a thing were to happen, I am determined that it will not be because I did not steadfastly believe, pray, fast, or intercede often enough on behalf my friends Joey, Nick and Elizabeth.
I praise God for Who He is, for His goodness, and faithfulness, and grace and perfect love for all of us. I praise Him that He has opened the way for me to come before Him and present my needs and to intercede on behalf of others, and that He has promised to hear our prayers. I also thanks and praise Him that He has promised to always do what is best - even if I pray amiss - and that all things will ultimately work together into a pattern for good for those of us who are The Called.
Father, I thank You and praise You that You are good and holy and loving and merciful. I thank You that You are in control and for all You have done for Joey and the Kellers to this time. I ask You now to once again reach down into that hospital room and intervene on behalf of this precious little boy - Your creation - upon whom You have had Your hand and over whom You have kept special watch these many months. Touch him now again and let your Holy Spirit move upon and within his body to bring healing, wholeness, and freedom from this disease of cancer. In the name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord, by Who's stripes You have purchased our redemption and healing, I ask that you destroy every single cancerous molecule and cell in Joey's body. I ask that you prevent every cancerous cell from reproducing and cause every damaged organ, tissue, cell, protein, enzyme, and molecule to be repaired and healed. Restore balance to his chemical systems and eliminate all unhealthy, damaged, and malignant elements from his body along with any and all sources of such damage, disease, and illness. I also come against any outside forces - be they physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual - that would affect Joey in any way other than bringing him back toward total health. I ask that You hold Joey and the Kellers in the very palm of Your hand and set Your hedge and Your guard around them to keep them safe and secure.
I ask You Father, in the name of Jesus, for Joey's life, for his health, and for his immediate healing. Let your light, love, power, and glory fill Joey, his family, and his room. Let your supernatural peace descend upon them and guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus and let Your armor remain strong and fast about them protecting them from the flaming arrows of the enemy ... doubt, despair, fear, and discouragement ... let them have no place in their hearts and minds. Send forth Your angels and Your Holy Spirit to raise up an ARMY of intercessors, oh Lord, on behalf of Joey and his family that we may participate in turning the tide of this battle.
Thank You for hearing my prayer and for Your healing power as it moves forth to Joey even now. You are worthy of all glory and honor and power and praise both now and forever.
In the mighty name of Jesus I ask all these things, Amen.
If you are a Christian, please continue to pray, fast, and believe with me!
- Tim -
Saturday, October 27, 2012
A Prayer for Joey
Gracious and loving Heavenly Father, we come to you now in supplication for Joseph Keller and his family. Please lead us now in this time of prayer and hear the cry of our hearts.
We thank you for bringing the Kellers into our lives and for the privilege of being a part of all you have done and continue do in and through Joey, Nick and Elizabeth. We praise You how deeply and graciously You have touched and sustained them through this most difficult trial. We worship and adore You as Creator and Sustainer of all life and all living things. We honor you as Creator of the Universe and Master of all. You, and You alone, define love, grace, goodness, mercy, and joy, and we look to You now on behalf of Joey, Nicolas, and Elizabeth in this hour of desperate need. You formed Joey from the beginning of his conception and indeed knew him from before time itself was created or the foundations of the world were laid. And his life and Your plans for his life are before you at all times. We have seen Your hand at work in his life on so many occasions to keep him from the jaws of untimely death and to heal the damage to his body from diseases and treatments. We thank You and praise You and worship You for your mercy and grace to this point.
We now ask You to touch Joey again with Your power and bring release from disease and suffering, restoration to health, and regeneration within his body to strength and long life. And we believe completely that this is Your will for him as we have seen You move in this same way so many times before.
You have granted to us who believe, access to the awesome and powerful name of Jesus and You have commanded us to use it in battle against our enemy and his kingdom as well as against sickness and disease. And so it is in the mighty name of Jesus and by the power of His shed blood that I come against Satan now on behalf of the Kellers. I command any and all foul and unclean spirits to immediately cease and desist all activity regarding Joey Keller, his parents Nick and Elizabeth, his doctors, nurses, and any other hospital staff, family, and visitors associated with his case and care. You are commanded to be gone from the Keller's room along with any backups, replacements, or other such beings or devices of your use or influence and to have no further contact or influence upon these people, or the equipment, facilities, or processes associated with Joey's case and care. I tear down and destroy any strongholds, footholds, attachments, or links that may exist to these people and objects and declare that you are forbidden to return or have any further contact or influence with any of the people, objects, places, or processes I have named. In the name of our Lord God and Savior - Yeshua HaMashiach, get out and stay out.
Father, I ask for you to fill that hospital room, and indeed the entire ward, with your presence, power, glory, majesty, light, love, peace, and healing energy. I ask that your Holy Spirit would descend upon that room and all those present and all who enter it. Surround, fill, and permeate every part Joey's, Nick's, and Elizabeth's beings with Your supernatural peace, comfort, hope, trust, and faith. Envelop them in Your love and light and holiness and cause them to rest in the knowledge and faith of Your control and Your promise to work ALL things - even THIS trial - into a pattern for good for them.
Please set your hedge of protection round about Joey's bed, about the room, and about the entire ward and post your angelic guard to the north, south, east, and west, from the floor beneath to the roof above, and at ever access point that no creature would be allowed to enter except they be about Your business.
Let your presence fill their hearts, minds, and the very atmosphere of their room with a dramatic and powerful Peace, Hope, Reassurance, Comfort, and JOY that comes from knowing You and the perfect confidence that You are in control and that You will cause all things to work out for good and in Your perfect plan for Joey and all those involved.
Father, I pray as specifically as I know how for Joey and his current afflictions. In his body, I pray against every form of sickness, disease, infirmity, and malady. I pray specifically against cancer - in all its forms and causes, and against the seizures he's been having - in all their forms and causes. I ask that You would destroy every last trace of cancer, malignancy, and mutation currently in his body - in every system, in every organ, in every tissue, in every cell, in every gene, in every protein, in ever enzyme and amino acid - down to every last molecule of his being. Destroy every malignant, mutated, or out-of-place molecule or cell and prevent them from reproducing. Cause his own immune system to be restored and to recognize and attack and destroy every malformed molecule and cell and to rebuild and strengthen its own ability to protect him. Cause all tissue and cellular damage to be repaired immediately or replaced with good cells and tissues. Bring all chemical and physiological processes back into balance and proper functioning.
I pray for the other aspects of Joey's being to be healed, restored, and strengthened as well - his heart, mind, soul, and spirit. Renew, restore, rejuvenate and regenerate all aspects of his being and their dependencies and interactions in both the physical and non-physical realms. Bring Joey back to complete health, vigor, strength, and life in every way he has need.
I pray too for his parents Nick and Elizabeth. Descend up on them both in power. Open their eyes and ears to Your presence and Your work. Fill them and guard their minds with the Peace of Jesus and remove all fear and doubt. Give them rest - physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually ... cause them to rest in You and renew, restore, rejuvenate, and regenerate them in their hearts, minds, souls, and spirits. Draw them to a confidence in Your power, providence, and will and willingness to heal their little boy and let it bring them to a point of rest and peace in You. Give them wisdom and courage to stand firm in their faith, and to make good decisions and right actions on behalf of Joey and all the other burdens and responsibilities they bear. We ask also for your mercy and grace where Nick's job is concerned that his employer would be gracious and as accommodating as possible to the family through this trial.
I pray that You would continue to raise up family, friends, and other Christians to support, encourage, and share in carrying the burdens the Kellers bear during this time as well. Whether through finances, food, caring for the house, or any other way that the Body of Christ can find to bless and support and encourage them. But most of all, I pray that Your Holy Spirit would continue to go forth raising up even more who would pray, intercede, and fast on behalf of Joey and his family. Place Your burden for prayer upon the hearts of those whom You would call to help and work alongside the Kellers. Do not let Your people hear the story of Joey and walk away unburdened for intercession. Work through these events in the lives of those who have been touched by this trial to make us better, more disciplined prayer warriors and intercessors, more other-centered, and more faithful. Draw people unto Yourself through these events and let us all come away with a deeper relationship to You, and a deeper understanding and commitment to prayer in general.
Most of all Father, I pray that all these things would not be in vain; that there would come from these events the greatest possible good for all those involved, but most especially for You and Your kingdom. May all the lessons available to be learned here - whether in Joey, his parents, the doctors and medical staff, the prayer team, or the casual passersby - be learned and learned well. May each person come away changed by these events in a way that ultimately brings glory to You and draws more people to You and deeper in their walk with You and Your Word. Let no lesson be lost.
Hear our prayer Father. Show Thyself strong and loving and gracious - as Master over all life and death and sickness and infirmity. Glorify Thy name before men and especially among those who would deny You or place their trust and hope in the wisdom and acts of Man rather than You.
We love You and thank You and worship You and glorify Thy mighty and holy name before all men and before the hosts of heaven. For You alone are worthy to receive all glory and honor and power and praise. Your's is the kingdom and glory and the power forever.
All these things we ask in the name that is above all names - the glorious, powerful, wonderful, precious name of Jesus.
Amen.
We thank you for bringing the Kellers into our lives and for the privilege of being a part of all you have done and continue do in and through Joey, Nick and Elizabeth. We praise You how deeply and graciously You have touched and sustained them through this most difficult trial. We worship and adore You as Creator and Sustainer of all life and all living things. We honor you as Creator of the Universe and Master of all. You, and You alone, define love, grace, goodness, mercy, and joy, and we look to You now on behalf of Joey, Nicolas, and Elizabeth in this hour of desperate need. You formed Joey from the beginning of his conception and indeed knew him from before time itself was created or the foundations of the world were laid. And his life and Your plans for his life are before you at all times. We have seen Your hand at work in his life on so many occasions to keep him from the jaws of untimely death and to heal the damage to his body from diseases and treatments. We thank You and praise You and worship You for your mercy and grace to this point.
We now ask You to touch Joey again with Your power and bring release from disease and suffering, restoration to health, and regeneration within his body to strength and long life. And we believe completely that this is Your will for him as we have seen You move in this same way so many times before.
You have granted to us who believe, access to the awesome and powerful name of Jesus and You have commanded us to use it in battle against our enemy and his kingdom as well as against sickness and disease. And so it is in the mighty name of Jesus and by the power of His shed blood that I come against Satan now on behalf of the Kellers. I command any and all foul and unclean spirits to immediately cease and desist all activity regarding Joey Keller, his parents Nick and Elizabeth, his doctors, nurses, and any other hospital staff, family, and visitors associated with his case and care. You are commanded to be gone from the Keller's room along with any backups, replacements, or other such beings or devices of your use or influence and to have no further contact or influence upon these people, or the equipment, facilities, or processes associated with Joey's case and care. I tear down and destroy any strongholds, footholds, attachments, or links that may exist to these people and objects and declare that you are forbidden to return or have any further contact or influence with any of the people, objects, places, or processes I have named. In the name of our Lord God and Savior - Yeshua HaMashiach, get out and stay out.
Father, I ask for you to fill that hospital room, and indeed the entire ward, with your presence, power, glory, majesty, light, love, peace, and healing energy. I ask that your Holy Spirit would descend upon that room and all those present and all who enter it. Surround, fill, and permeate every part Joey's, Nick's, and Elizabeth's beings with Your supernatural peace, comfort, hope, trust, and faith. Envelop them in Your love and light and holiness and cause them to rest in the knowledge and faith of Your control and Your promise to work ALL things - even THIS trial - into a pattern for good for them.
Please set your hedge of protection round about Joey's bed, about the room, and about the entire ward and post your angelic guard to the north, south, east, and west, from the floor beneath to the roof above, and at ever access point that no creature would be allowed to enter except they be about Your business.
Let your presence fill their hearts, minds, and the very atmosphere of their room with a dramatic and powerful Peace, Hope, Reassurance, Comfort, and JOY that comes from knowing You and the perfect confidence that You are in control and that You will cause all things to work out for good and in Your perfect plan for Joey and all those involved.
Father, I pray as specifically as I know how for Joey and his current afflictions. In his body, I pray against every form of sickness, disease, infirmity, and malady. I pray specifically against cancer - in all its forms and causes, and against the seizures he's been having - in all their forms and causes. I ask that You would destroy every last trace of cancer, malignancy, and mutation currently in his body - in every system, in every organ, in every tissue, in every cell, in every gene, in every protein, in ever enzyme and amino acid - down to every last molecule of his being. Destroy every malignant, mutated, or out-of-place molecule or cell and prevent them from reproducing. Cause his own immune system to be restored and to recognize and attack and destroy every malformed molecule and cell and to rebuild and strengthen its own ability to protect him. Cause all tissue and cellular damage to be repaired immediately or replaced with good cells and tissues. Bring all chemical and physiological processes back into balance and proper functioning.
I pray for the other aspects of Joey's being to be healed, restored, and strengthened as well - his heart, mind, soul, and spirit. Renew, restore, rejuvenate and regenerate all aspects of his being and their dependencies and interactions in both the physical and non-physical realms. Bring Joey back to complete health, vigor, strength, and life in every way he has need.
I pray too for his parents Nick and Elizabeth. Descend up on them both in power. Open their eyes and ears to Your presence and Your work. Fill them and guard their minds with the Peace of Jesus and remove all fear and doubt. Give them rest - physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually ... cause them to rest in You and renew, restore, rejuvenate, and regenerate them in their hearts, minds, souls, and spirits. Draw them to a confidence in Your power, providence, and will and willingness to heal their little boy and let it bring them to a point of rest and peace in You. Give them wisdom and courage to stand firm in their faith, and to make good decisions and right actions on behalf of Joey and all the other burdens and responsibilities they bear. We ask also for your mercy and grace where Nick's job is concerned that his employer would be gracious and as accommodating as possible to the family through this trial.
I pray that You would continue to raise up family, friends, and other Christians to support, encourage, and share in carrying the burdens the Kellers bear during this time as well. Whether through finances, food, caring for the house, or any other way that the Body of Christ can find to bless and support and encourage them. But most of all, I pray that Your Holy Spirit would continue to go forth raising up even more who would pray, intercede, and fast on behalf of Joey and his family. Place Your burden for prayer upon the hearts of those whom You would call to help and work alongside the Kellers. Do not let Your people hear the story of Joey and walk away unburdened for intercession. Work through these events in the lives of those who have been touched by this trial to make us better, more disciplined prayer warriors and intercessors, more other-centered, and more faithful. Draw people unto Yourself through these events and let us all come away with a deeper relationship to You, and a deeper understanding and commitment to prayer in general.
Most of all Father, I pray that all these things would not be in vain; that there would come from these events the greatest possible good for all those involved, but most especially for You and Your kingdom. May all the lessons available to be learned here - whether in Joey, his parents, the doctors and medical staff, the prayer team, or the casual passersby - be learned and learned well. May each person come away changed by these events in a way that ultimately brings glory to You and draws more people to You and deeper in their walk with You and Your Word. Let no lesson be lost.
Hear our prayer Father. Show Thyself strong and loving and gracious - as Master over all life and death and sickness and infirmity. Glorify Thy name before men and especially among those who would deny You or place their trust and hope in the wisdom and acts of Man rather than You.
We love You and thank You and worship You and glorify Thy mighty and holy name before all men and before the hosts of heaven. For You alone are worthy to receive all glory and honor and power and praise. Your's is the kingdom and glory and the power forever.
All these things we ask in the name that is above all names - the glorious, powerful, wonderful, precious name of Jesus.
Amen.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Thanks for Praying for Joey Keller
My apologies for not getting to this earlier, but I wanted to extend my personal thanks - and forward a "Thank You" from the Kellers as well to all who participated in our prayer events over the past 2+ weeks. The Round-The-Clock (RTC) Prayer Vigils for Joey ended on Sunday at midnight. It was a fantastic success and we saw God do some truly amazing things!
For those who may not have been following closely, Joey Keller is a 9 year old little boy who is a friend of Daniel's. His parents Nick and Elizabeth have also become friends of ours over the past several months. Daniel and Joey met one another in our homeschool co-op and Andrea and Elizabeth knew one another through the boys' shared classes. Joey has been fighting a severely aggressive form of brain cancer for the past few years and has suffered multiple relapses (which typically drastically reduces the chances for successful recovery.) The odds of him beating it have been stated as less than 2%. When Daniel was diagnosed with leukemia back in January, our paths began to cross much more frequently with the Kellers at Riley Children's hospital and eventually Nick and I met and began to get acquainted as well. Over the past several months we've all gotten to know each other on a level that's difficult to describe, simply due to our shared journey: navigating the medical community, cancer, faith, and all the rest that comes with staring a parent's worst nightmare in the face, 24/7, for months (or in their case, years) at a time.
On the evening of Monday Sept. 24th, after having posted a fairly positive report of Joey's health and progress, Nick posted a single line that nearly stopped the hearts of all of us who follow his CaringBridge site with these words,
"Joey either had a stroke or seizure. Just took EMS to Riley. Going to get ct scan. Gotta go."
(You can read the history of journal entries here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/joeykeller)
I have set up to get notifications from the Kellers' CB site on my phone and in email, but somehow I missed this and a couple of follow-ups until the following morning when Andrea texted me about it. I hurriedly read through the past few hours' posts and was in tears at the situation that was being described. My heart always misses a couple of beats when the Kellers post a CB entry (not a great demonstration of faith there is it?) but this time just hit me like a truck. To the best of my knowledge, nobody, to this day, knows what actually happened. While sitting in the bathtub that evening, Joey became unresponsive. He was alert & moving, but acting very strangely and not responding to Nick's voice or actions. They immediately called EMS and rushed him to the hospital. His situation went downhill quickly and soon he was nearly catatonic, having seizures, and then stopped breathing altogether.
Every test they ran came up blank as far as causes. The cancer in his brain stem had been causing partial paralysis in various parts of his body recently, but an MRI & CT scan showed that it had not progressed at all. There was no sign of seizure activity in his EEG even though they were watching it happen. In short, they were all stumped but doing all they could to keep him alive. The doctors in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) told the Kellers they should expect the worst and to being making "preparations". At one point, they were even telling Nick and Elizabeth that they needed to start considering "pulling the plug" on Joey's life support. But Nick and Elizabeth refused to give in to this loss of hope and continued to pray and pray and pray. Their CB posts during this time convey the desperation during those dark hours.
Even with as much as Andrea & I have been through this past year with Daniel and the initial ups and downs of the doctors assessments of his "survivability", I know I cannot begin to imagine what the Kellers have been through. The doctors were regularly conferring (i.e. "guessing") about causes, offering widely varying theories and just as differing treatment ideas to the Kellers. All this was compounded for them by having gone days ... up to at least 5 at one point ... with virtually no sleep at all.
Early in that first week, I felt a burden within my own heart to rally praying people for Joey. Now let there be no mistake about my meaning here - there is an absolutely GINORMOUS team of people, literally from around the world, praying for Joey on a full-time basis. The vast majority of them have no clue who I am and many have known the Kellers better and longer than we have. But the burden I had was to see something "formal", something "organized" to get people plugged-into so that we could be sure (and the Kellers could also know) that there was actual Round-The-Clock prayer coverage for Joey ... every second of every day. I asked around to see whether something similar already existed or if there was any single point-of-contact for the veritable army of people around the world collectively known as "TEAM JOEY".
Though a few people had previously organized different events: T-shirt sales (yes, Team Joey even has their own T-shirts!! :), food ministries, and other things, I was unable to find anyone organizing prayer (though many, MANY were praying.)
A couple more days slipped by and then I remember very clearly hearing the Lord's voice telling me that nobody else was going to do this and it was MY JOB to get it done. "OK, OK, OK! ... I have no idea how to do this, but I'll do what I can." I was thinking that I really didn't know how to get in touch with people and wondering whether anyone would even care about what I was trying to organize since no more than a handful even knew me from Adam. Now God never actually said this, but at that point, there was definitely a kind of "If you build it, they will come" moment. :-) Corny, I know, but it at least gave me something with which to move forward.
The only place I knew to start was Facebook - that amazing source of communication, information, and (as often as not) GRIEF most of us have come to love and hate. However, it was clearly the best (and possibly the only) means of trying to connect with the hundreds - possibly thousands - of Team Joey members out there who had no idea who I was.
Now if you're following this blog of mine, at this point, the story is probably starting to connect for you with what you've seen here over the past couple weeks. Without going into a lot of detail, I setup a Facebook "event" to invite people to in order to pray for Joey. I divided up the first 30 hours or so (Sat evening through Sunday night) into 1/2 hr time slots and invited people to sign up for a specific slot. I posted notices on Facebook, in our CaringBridge site, and here in this blog and asked others to pass it on as well.
We didn't get them all filled in time, but we did pretty well as word began getting out and others reposted the info and invitation. Sunday morning I set up 5 more such "events" to get through Friday of that week (10/5). It was a clumsy way to do the sign-ups because people could only request what slots they wanted in posts & comments and then only Andrea & I had to manually edit the event info to add their names. It was a VERY busy weekend for the two of us and we scrambled all day Sat and Sunday to keep up with the requests. But it was a WONDERFUL burden to bear. The entire week filled up in just a few hours really, and we were simply in awe of watching God work as we saw the news spread and people respond. Something like 292 half-hour time slots were filled and many had multiple people in them. It was abundantly clear that this was God's work from the beginning, and my part was more like just pulling the cork out of the hole in the dike. He did the rest and we were more like bystanders as people clamored to get behind Joey, Nick, and Elizabeth in this organized prayer event.
On Tuesday (10/2), we (the Millers) were all at Riley for the start of Daniel's Maintenance Phase treatments and decided to try an impromptu visit to the PICU to see if we might possibly make contact with Nick and Elizabeth (they had no idea we were coming, and we weren't even sure we could FIND them, much less get into the ward.) But as grace would have it, we did find them, and although Daniel wasn't able to come in, Andrea & I were able to spend nearly an hour with them, discuss all that had been going on, and even pray with them. Their exhaustion was so evident that all of us were in tears during much of the visit. But it was such a blessing to connect with them, to see first hand what was happening and get a real "inside" report of what they'd been going through and what they needed.
Perhaps the most important thing we took away from that visit was that the prayer "war" we were fighting for Joey's life seemed to be far more spiritual than it was physical. This was an important revelation to us and, again, we understood that God had orchestrated the visit for a specific purpose He had in mind. (We actually probably shouldn't have been able to get into to see them as non-family members - but when we showed up, a series of "coincidental" events transpired to get us right in to see them and none of the staff even thought twice about our being there. Amazing!) But we needed to get the word out to the prayer team that they must focus on the spiritual aspects at least as much as the physical ones. The Kellers described a "darkness" and depression and negativity that permeated their room and the attitudes of most of the doctors when they came in. It was having a visible effect on Joey - even before he was conscious, and the words of Scripture in Eph 6:12 became a rallying point for us and we tried hard to communicate this to the others in the prayer team.
Not surprisingly, as we posted the information from the Kellers, many people resonated with it and several had even stated that they had been sensing the same thing in their prayer times. This kind of "resonance" and other such confirmations were a common experience during the setting up of the prayer vigils as well - I got several really appreciative notes from people who'd also been burdened with wanting to see something more organized set up to rally people around the Kellers in prayer. So again, we were given a little glimpse into God's work "behind the scenes" that had been going on for quite awhile. He just wanted someone to do something as simple as raise up a banner for the troops to rally behind and they came flocking. In this case, the banner consisted of a few Facebook events with titles about praying for Joey.
We saw people from all over the world and all walks of life - most, complete strangers to one another - come together for a common purpose under a common banner and FIGHT ... on their knees ... for Joey's life, health, and well-being.
As the days went by, we all waited on pins and needles for Nick's CaringBridge posts to hear how things were going. They were excruciatingly far between (for certainly understandable reasons), but we all kept praying anyway. And very quickly (though I know it seemed like an eternity to Nick and Eliz), we saw Joey move from a point where nearly everyone close to him thought it might really be "over" - to a nearly full recovery against all odds and a great deal of medical "advice". We saw an entire medical team astounded by his miraculous recovery. We saw dozens and dozens of people step up and volunteer for time slots as individuals, as couples, and as families - from late at night, to the wee hours of the morning, to commutes back and forth to work, to evening family times ... people filled up the slots and prayed and prayed and prayed. And most importantly, we saw Joey recover from about as close as anyone could come to death and then back away.
Near the end of that first week of the prayer vigil (week & 2 for the Kellers), Joey was doing much better, and by Thursday, he was finally off the ventilator and breathing on his own again ... but we wanted to see him HOME! Several people began to ask about continuing the vigil for another week - "praying him home" as it were. I'd been thinking about the same thing and was grateful for the confirmation that I should continue for another week. This time though, some friends pointed me to a website that would make the process MUCH easier on Andrea & I so that we didn't have to process all the requests manually; rather, people could sign-up themselves for the slots they wanted and see the results immediately (it's called SignUpGenius.com - it was free and really a big help for Andrea & I!)
The 2nd week of the vigil though, never completely filled up. That was disappointing, but it was also clear that we had moved though the worst of it and Joey was doing MUCH better and we were confident that God was working through all that prayer to bring Joey back out of this horrible ordeal. The fact that so many were willing to sacrifice of their time for a whole week - long enough to get Joey off the ventilator and back on the road to recovery - was amazing and enormously appreciated. Those that continued with us through the second week were, I believe, instrumental "participants" with God in getting Joey the next step - which was to return home. Now we do know that MANY others were praying as they often as they could but were unable to sign up for specific time slots for various reasons. We know also that MANY, MANY others pray for Joey regularly and either aren't Facebook subscribers or simply never got the word of our prayer vigil. And we know that God most certainly worked in many OTHER ways than these particular events.When Nick posted a new update on the following Tuesday (10/9) that Joey was intentionally "messing with" the nurses by holding his breath to set off the monitor alarms just to watch them all come running in the room, and then laughing mischievously at what he'd done, I laughed till I cried. It was such an incredible relief, such a JOY, to see Joey "back" among us (and as Daniel frequently noted to us, Joey's name is strikingly close to the word "Joy" and often pronounced in a way that is indistinguishable from it!) The doctors had told Nick and Eliz at one point that there was almost certainly irreversible brain damage after the seizures and that, even if he did recover, "it wouldn't be the same Joey". This of course was DEVASTATING for the Kellers to hear and all of us as well. But Joey's journey has been an exercise in faith from beginning to end, and once again, they refused to accept that prognosis and prayed all the harder. Seeing Nick's post on Tuesday 10/9 was nothing short of miraculous for all of us who had been watching them. God didn't really seem to care about the doctors' prognostications and seemed to delight in demonstrating to us all that medical "odds" and the wisdom of Man mean nothing to Him.
I should note here that this is not to say that we are not all immensely appreciative of modern medicine, doctors, and the technology available to us. We certainly are. Both my wife and son have been direct beneficiaries (and myself secondarily thereby) of the astounding advancement of this technology in recent years as they both go through chemotherapy as well. In this case however, I have been pretty critical of some of the things that the Kellers' medical team said and did ... some really stupid things in my opinion ... things that should be criticized and from which several lessons should be learned. But this is not to impugn medicine or the medical community as a whole and I want to make that clear. Nevertheless, as wonderful as this technology is, it is nothing in comparison with the power, and will of God our Father and Creator. And that is perhaps the greatest lesson any of us can take from the events of these past few weeks.
Joey was released from Riley the following day (Thurs 10/11). Though he's still on a feeding tube due to difficulty swallowing, he's been breathing fine and slowly regaining his memory (a great deal of which was lost during the worst of the ordeal in the hospital.) Most of this seems to be confined to fairly short-term memory, but in the picture below, Joey is instructing some family members (by memory) how to rebuild a rather large and complex LEGO set of his. God is good. :)
If you're still with me - thanks for reading. I know it's been a long entry, but I wanted to capture a few of the amazing details of these past two weeks - at least from our perspective - and bear witness to all that we've been privileged to watch God accomplish. I know it's been very beneficial for our family as well! After 9 months of being pretty focused on ourselves with all that Daniel has been going through, it's been good to get the focus off of us and onto helping and serving someone else. And few others are as near and dear to our hearts and our own journey as the Kellers are. I must confess that we've never been very good at praying together as a family - despite many attempts to make this work over the years. Yet the past two weeks have been a wonderful way for us to rally together over an important cause at least once each day.
We've watched Daniel grow in his own prayer life by leaps and bounds through this and establish a special kind of "prayer connection" with Joey that only another cancer survivor can really have. One of our prayers throughout this ordeal has been that the lessons God has been teaching ALL of us through this time, would not be lost. We pray this for Kellers, for ourselves, for our prayer team, and for all of TEAM JOEY moving forward.
Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement to us. And thank you for your willingness to give - whether thoughts, time, or that special part of your heart that goes out to others with true intercessory prayer. We especially thank those of you who have been our own family's regular supporters and intercessors and may not have known the Kellers previously, yet joined forces with us to pray for Joey. Thanks also for putting up with my continual pestering for more prayer for them! And as always, we thank you for all you've done in praying for and following our story as well.
ONE FINAL NOTE:
Though the Round-The-Clock Prayer Vigils have ended, we have established a more or less permanent page for those praying for Joey. We'll use this to help get word out for specific prayer requests, share our thoughts, info, experiences, and "praise reports" in interceding for the Kellers, and post any future events if the need arises. So please be sure to "like" this page if you'd like to continue with us or just follow what's happening with the prayer team. https://www.facebook.com/PrayingForJoeyk
A similar group was formed by friends of ours for Daniel here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/305553332819553
And you are always welcome to join either our or the Kellers' CaringBridge sites here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/joeykeller
and here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/danieljmiller
Grace and Peace in Jesus,
- Tim -
Monday, October 1, 2012
Praying For Joey
I suspect that most who will read this entry will have no use for it as they are much more accomplished pray-ers than I am. Yet over the past few days, I found myself enormously burdened regarding prayer for Joey Keller. My times of lifting him up along with Nick and Elizabeth have been extraordinarily powerful, emotional, raw sometimes ... often very specifically pointed at some aspect or other of what's going on or even something completely unrelated. But what hit most recently was the desire to know that there was continuous coverage for all that has been going on with the Kellers this past week.
(For those not familiar with Joey or his story, please click here for a summary and all the updates: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/joeykeller. In short, Joey is a friend of Daniel's from his homeschool co-op and has an aggressive form of brain cancer. In the past week, things have taken a turn for the worse and frankly, the medical team hasn't a clue why. He is in desperate need of a miracle and there are literally THOUSANDS of people all over the world praying for him - including all us Millers!)
I tried briefly to find some "coordinator" for Team Joey maybe already had something like this, or knew how to put it together, but it quickly became apparent that God was giving ME this task! I put it off for a day longer than I should have (there's that discipline thing again) until I couldn't stand it any more and came up with a really clunky way of trying to organize it using "events" in Facebook. Well, to make a long story not quite as long, I created 1/2hr time slots stretching from this past Saturday night through this coming Friday at midnight for which people could sign-up and pray. I figured we'd be scrounging for volunteers most of the week - especially for the early morning hours - but in a spectacular show of what "TEAM JOEY" is all about (and what God apparently had in mind all along!) Andrea and I were absolutely deluged with people wanting time slots to pray, and we filled up the entire thing ... all 292 slots in less than 1/2 a day. And many slots - even the early morning ones - have multiple people in them because the requests were coming in faster than Andrea & I could update the events!
I'm blown away at what God did through this. But the goal was of course NOT just filling up time slots, but in providing powerful, comprehensive, round-the-clock supplication ... beseeching ... BEGGING before the throne of God for Joey's life and health and restoration ... so the REAL work lies with those who are signed up - and all the rest who are still praying even though they don't have their names on a list in Facebook!
It is with that thought in mind ... and thinking that there might be some out there who struggle a bit with prayer ... or might even be intimidated at the thought of filling up an entire 1/2 hour with prayer on the same topic ... that I wanted to offer some ideas / suggestions for how to pray for Joey.
If you are an experienced pray-er, or have no trouble filling up an entire 1/2 hour, then what follows is not for you. PLEASE continue to pray for Joey as loud, long, and often as you can ... and Thank You!
On the other hand, if you could use a little extra help filling up your time slot, or maybe just some different ideas from how you've been praying, then I offer these for whatever worth you might find in them. There's nothing special about them or the order or the wording ... in fact ... what matters most is that whatever you pray comes from your heart ... not someone else's words or formulas ... God wants to hear from YOU. But I do believe I can defend each particular statement and its form Biblically if you have questions about how/why some of these appear the way they do. Normally, I'd have written this out long-hand, but as you can see, I figured it was long enough even in "bullet" form, so I spared you all the book that would have resulted. :-)
May the Lord pray through you and bless both you and the Kellers through your prayers. Thank you all!
- Tim -
(For those not familiar with Joey or his story, please click here for a summary and all the updates: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/joeykeller. In short, Joey is a friend of Daniel's from his homeschool co-op and has an aggressive form of brain cancer. In the past week, things have taken a turn for the worse and frankly, the medical team hasn't a clue why. He is in desperate need of a miracle and there are literally THOUSANDS of people all over the world praying for him - including all us Millers!)
I tried briefly to find some "coordinator" for Team Joey maybe already had something like this, or knew how to put it together, but it quickly became apparent that God was giving ME this task! I put it off for a day longer than I should have (there's that discipline thing again) until I couldn't stand it any more and came up with a really clunky way of trying to organize it using "events" in Facebook. Well, to make a long story not quite as long, I created 1/2hr time slots stretching from this past Saturday night through this coming Friday at midnight for which people could sign-up and pray. I figured we'd be scrounging for volunteers most of the week - especially for the early morning hours - but in a spectacular show of what "TEAM JOEY" is all about (and what God apparently had in mind all along!) Andrea and I were absolutely deluged with people wanting time slots to pray, and we filled up the entire thing ... all 292 slots in less than 1/2 a day. And many slots - even the early morning ones - have multiple people in them because the requests were coming in faster than Andrea & I could update the events!
I'm blown away at what God did through this. But the goal was of course NOT just filling up time slots, but in providing powerful, comprehensive, round-the-clock supplication ... beseeching ... BEGGING before the throne of God for Joey's life and health and restoration ... so the REAL work lies with those who are signed up - and all the rest who are still praying even though they don't have their names on a list in Facebook!
It is with that thought in mind ... and thinking that there might be some out there who struggle a bit with prayer ... or might even be intimidated at the thought of filling up an entire 1/2 hour with prayer on the same topic ... that I wanted to offer some ideas / suggestions for how to pray for Joey.
If you are an experienced pray-er, or have no trouble filling up an entire 1/2 hour, then what follows is not for you. PLEASE continue to pray for Joey as loud, long, and often as you can ... and Thank You!
On the other hand, if you could use a little extra help filling up your time slot, or maybe just some different ideas from how you've been praying, then I offer these for whatever worth you might find in them. There's nothing special about them or the order or the wording ... in fact ... what matters most is that whatever you pray comes from your heart ... not someone else's words or formulas ... God wants to hear from YOU. But I do believe I can defend each particular statement and its form Biblically if you have questions about how/why some of these appear the way they do. Normally, I'd have written this out long-hand, but as you can see, I figured it was long enough even in "bullet" form, so I spared you all the book that would have resulted. :-)
May the Lord pray through you and bless both you and the Kellers through your prayers. Thank you all!
- Tim -
Praying for Joey
“Be anxious for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God, and the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:6-7)
General:
- For God’s presence to be powerful, prevalent, and FELT throughout the hospital room and the ward where Joey is
- For God’s peace, power, grace, comfort, hope, and joy to be tangible and “overpowering” in each of the Kellers and to anyone who walks into Joey’s room or deals with him or his parents in any way
- Protection against all enemies – physical, spiritual, emotional, or worldly – that Joey, Nick, and Elizabeth would be firmly surrounded by God’s “hedge”, His own hands, His host, and their own spiritual armor.
- All forms of cancer, sickness, disease, infirmity, illness, trauma, and stress affecting Joey in any part of his being (body, soul, or spirit)
- Any attack, stronghold, device, or scheme of the enemy affecting Joey, the Kellers, the hospital staff, or any of its equipment or procedures associated with Joey
- That Joey would sense, feel, and experience – in a powerful way – the presence of Jesus with Him and in him at all times comforting, protecting, ministering to, and strengthening him through these trials … to hear His voice, to feel His touch, to see His glory, and to know His peace
- Direct, immediate, complete healing from all cancer, its causes and effects
- Repair or replacement of all damaged tissues, organs, and processes
- Restoration of normal processes & behaviors in every part of his being – body, soul, & spirit
- Destruction of all forms and any sources or causes of cancer or other diseases, infirmities, afflictions, abnormalities, or mutations – physical or otherwise
- Healing from any and all damage caused by recent trauma – physical, emotional, mental, spiritual
- Healing from all the side effects of the medications, procedures, trauma, and stress he’s been subjected to since ALL of this started (years worth)
- For renewed physical strength, health & vigor
- For renewed and increased strength, faith, hope, love, patience, perseverance, joy, and courage
- That he would be a powerful witness in all that he says and does, as well as simply in what God does to him and through him in the presence of the hospital staff and visitors – many of whom are unbelievers
- That all this would bear fruit in a powerful ministry through Joey. What a testimony he will have!!
- For renewed and increased strength, faith, hope, love, patience, perseverance, joy, and courage
- For unshakable, child-like, perfect trust in God regardless of what doctors say, test results indicate, or events unfold
- Supernatural wisdom and knowledge to make the right choices; to override doctors when necessary; to know and do what is best for Joey as his God-ordained parents.
- For the discipline and presence of mind to continue to take care of themselves and each other through these ordeals – and to accept or even ask for what they need from other members of the Body of Christ that we may help them bear these burdens
- For supernatural , God-given knowledge and wisdom of what to do (and not to do) medically for Joey that is right for him, and in keeping with God’s plan to bring him through this.
- For them to treat Joey, Nick, and Elizabeth with respect, empathy, and sensitivity in how the express thoughts and opinions
- For them to not make errors in diagnosis, treatment plans and execution, following procedures, and protocols
- That they would be open and touched by what God is doing in front of them both to and through the Kellers and the vast “cloud” of believers surrounding and supporting them.
- That they too would feel the power and presence of God in all that is going on in and around Joey and the Kellers … to know and experience the very hand of God upon each of them whenever they enter Joey’s room or the presence of Nick and Elizabeth … that something special is going on here – something vastly bigger than what they’re trying to do with medicine
- That God would continue to burden the hearts of those who can participate in what He is doing here – through prayer, through visits & encouragement, through providing meals or other services to the Kellers directly, or any other ministry by which we can support, encourage, teach, or help share the burdens they are carrying right now.
- That the Holy Spirit would powerfully pray through those who have committed to specific time slots in the prayer vigil such that the “covering of prayer” would:
- Not be broken
- Would be most effective toward Joey, Nick, and Elizabeth as well as others God intends to touch through these events
- That God would work IN the lives of all those He raises up around the Kellers during this time as well – to bless and encourage them, to draw them closer to Himself and deeper in their relationships with Him, and to more power in their own prayer and service (i.e. deeper into discipleship)
- For God’s blessing and protection upon all those who would give of their time & resources for the Kellers
- That God would be glorified in and through these events
- That many would come to know, or know more deeply, His power, love, grace, and holiness
- That the Kingdom would be furthered
- For all those touched by these trials, especially Joey, Nick, and Elizabeth, to receive the maximum benefit from having persevered through the midst of these trials (Rom 8:28) – that God would turn all these horrible things into good in each of their lives, and no lesson would be lost, lest any of this have been in vain.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Celebrating a Major Milestone and God's Grace
Today we achieved a major milestone in Daniel's chemotherapy schedule. This afternoon, Andrea and Daniel went into Riley to receive the last 3 intramuscular injections of the last drug of the last division of the last intensive phase of chemotherapy. We're a long way from being completely done with the chemo, but from here on out we'll be in what's called the "Maintenance" phase which, other than a few oral drugs, amounts to only one clinic visit a month. All the really intensive stuff is now OVER!!!! YIPPPEEEEEEE!!!! :-D :-D :-D
Accident damage Pics: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151256007479913.517334.665739912&type=1&l=71b484b088
Purple Heart Award Pics: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151256015774913.517335.665739912&type=1&l=12e373849b
Don't misunderstand me here, what remains is still not going to be easy. We're in for more than 2-1/2 years of monthly visits, each one of which will include a spinal tap, a couple of IV chemo drugs, and ongoing oral meds including many rounds of steroids. We're not out of the woods, but we do feel like we've just emerged from a very long, dark tunnel deep underground. For that, we are VERY, very thankful!
Over the past couple of weeks, I've been trying to figure out how best to celebrate this major event. I consider it to be the 2nd most important milestone of the whole chemo course (the 1st of course being the end of it all - which will probably be Monday 4/27/2015 Lord willing). Unfortunately, most of what I came up with hasn't really worked out ... at least not yet. Over the coming days & weeks we'll still likely include a few more activities and a gift or two in celebration of his achievement. But for tonight, our celebration amounted to a (very) nice dinner for the 3 of us and a short awards ceremony. I'd intended to have a nice gift for him, but as it turns out, he probably didn't really want what I was going to get him anyway (thank you Lord that they weren't in stock today!)
I told Daniel he could pick any restaurant he wanted tonight - "the sky's the limit". Well he came pretty close to hitting that limit, but we thoroughly enjoyed the nice meal downtown. We wandered around the mall for a bit and then came home and I was frantically trying to put together an award (that I spaced doing earlier) before he got too tired. I didn't make it. By the time I had it ready, Andrea informed me he'd just gone up to bed. I had to actually drag him back downstairs to do my little ceremony. He wasn't very happy with that, but he did enjoy what I did for him.
Because of his new-found love of military things, I chose to award him with a genuine Purple Heart medal. Now before all the vets jump on me about this, let me state a few things up front. First of all, yes it's legal, I checked. Second, this is in NO WAY intended to detract from or in any way even compare to those who have earned this honor in service to our country. You have our undying respect and gratitude and IMO the possession of a chunk of medal is not what grants one entrance to the true Order Of The Purple Heart. Because I knew (and explained it anyway) that Daniel would understand these things, and because he has most legitimately also been wounded (countless times in countless ways) in a very real battle for his own life, and because of his own love for military things, I chose this honor as most befitting what he has been through. I know that it will be cherished and respected for what it really means as well as what it means to him personally and, for me, I believe it's a fitting gift.
What it's really meant to illustrate is that this has very definitely been a war ... a war no 10 year old should ever have to fight ... yet here we are and so we must be victorious. The enemy may be firing bullets, mortars, and artillery rounds at us, but there are SEVERAL very real enemies with every real weapons, and they are just as lethal to my son's life. Our enemies are both physical (cancer), emotional (fear, depression, defeat) and spiritual (Satan and his host) and any one of them could (and have attempted to) take our son's life on several occasions. He bears the scars in his body (surgeries, broken bones, no hair, more needle pricks than you can count), in his emotions, and in his spirit, but he continues to press on. Sometimes I've literally had to carry him back from the "front lines", other times, he's pushed forward in his own strength and courage, but the battles have been relentless and multi-fronted for over 9 months now.
I've believed for a long time, that this war was not really about cancer. In fact, crazy as it may sound, I actually believe he was healed back in January when we went to visit Solomon Wickey (check the blog history if you missed that story back at the beginning). But for whatever reason, God did not give me the all-clear to stop the chemotherapy at that time, nor has He since. We've been in this for the long-haul, not for the cure (I believe we've already received that directly from the Lord), but for the scars. As crazy as that may sound, we need the scars - we all do. We don't learn, grow, toughen up, gain patience, endurance, or experience, by having an easy life. No athlete wins the prize after spending years sitting on the couch. It takes years of discipline, self-sacrifice, "pummeling" the body into submission (as Paul put it), and enough difficulty to build a drive to want to win. Likewise, no soldier wins the battle without months of training, discipline, and having his "comforts" stripped away until he is molded into a fighting machine that follows orders without hesitation and reacts to danger with courage, training, a fighting spirit.
Over the past couple of weeks, I've been trying to figure out how best to celebrate this major event. I consider it to be the 2nd most important milestone of the whole chemo course (the 1st of course being the end of it all - which will probably be Monday 4/27/2015 Lord willing). Unfortunately, most of what I came up with hasn't really worked out ... at least not yet. Over the coming days & weeks we'll still likely include a few more activities and a gift or two in celebration of his achievement. But for tonight, our celebration amounted to a (very) nice dinner for the 3 of us and a short awards ceremony. I'd intended to have a nice gift for him, but as it turns out, he probably didn't really want what I was going to get him anyway (thank you Lord that they weren't in stock today!)
I told Daniel he could pick any restaurant he wanted tonight - "the sky's the limit". Well he came pretty close to hitting that limit, but we thoroughly enjoyed the nice meal downtown. We wandered around the mall for a bit and then came home and I was frantically trying to put together an award (that I spaced doing earlier) before he got too tired. I didn't make it. By the time I had it ready, Andrea informed me he'd just gone up to bed. I had to actually drag him back downstairs to do my little ceremony. He wasn't very happy with that, but he did enjoy what I did for him.
Because of his new-found love of military things, I chose to award him with a genuine Purple Heart medal. Now before all the vets jump on me about this, let me state a few things up front. First of all, yes it's legal, I checked. Second, this is in NO WAY intended to detract from or in any way even compare to those who have earned this honor in service to our country. You have our undying respect and gratitude and IMO the possession of a chunk of medal is not what grants one entrance to the true Order Of The Purple Heart. Because I knew (and explained it anyway) that Daniel would understand these things, and because he has most legitimately also been wounded (countless times in countless ways) in a very real battle for his own life, and because of his own love for military things, I chose this honor as most befitting what he has been through. I know that it will be cherished and respected for what it really means as well as what it means to him personally and, for me, I believe it's a fitting gift.
What it's really meant to illustrate is that this has very definitely been a war ... a war no 10 year old should ever have to fight ... yet here we are and so we must be victorious. The enemy may be firing bullets, mortars, and artillery rounds at us, but there are SEVERAL very real enemies with every real weapons, and they are just as lethal to my son's life. Our enemies are both physical (cancer), emotional (fear, depression, defeat) and spiritual (Satan and his host) and any one of them could (and have attempted to) take our son's life on several occasions. He bears the scars in his body (surgeries, broken bones, no hair, more needle pricks than you can count), in his emotions, and in his spirit, but he continues to press on. Sometimes I've literally had to carry him back from the "front lines", other times, he's pushed forward in his own strength and courage, but the battles have been relentless and multi-fronted for over 9 months now.
I've believed for a long time, that this war was not really about cancer. In fact, crazy as it may sound, I actually believe he was healed back in January when we went to visit Solomon Wickey (check the blog history if you missed that story back at the beginning). But for whatever reason, God did not give me the all-clear to stop the chemotherapy at that time, nor has He since. We've been in this for the long-haul, not for the cure (I believe we've already received that directly from the Lord), but for the scars. As crazy as that may sound, we need the scars - we all do. We don't learn, grow, toughen up, gain patience, endurance, or experience, by having an easy life. No athlete wins the prize after spending years sitting on the couch. It takes years of discipline, self-sacrifice, "pummeling" the body into submission (as Paul put it), and enough difficulty to build a drive to want to win. Likewise, no soldier wins the battle without months of training, discipline, and having his "comforts" stripped away until he is molded into a fighting machine that follows orders without hesitation and reacts to danger with courage, training, a fighting spirit.
Am I saying I think God caused these events to come into our lives? Absolutely not. Bad things happen for lots of reasons - all of which can be traced back to the presence of sin and evil in the creation at some point, but not because God made it that way. So we never blame God for bad things. But yes, God does allow "bad" things to come into our lives, within certain boundaries (e.g. 1 Cor 10:13), and always in accordance with a plan for both our and His greater good and glory (Rom 8:28) IF and only IF we have trusted our lives into His hands (no such promises exist for those who have not given their lives to Christ).
So without going any deeper into the theology lesson (my theology class at the Bible college begins in January! lol :), the point here is that we know we're here for the lessons God wants to teach us. I personally believe that the outcome is assured - thought that is not to say God isn't still in charge or can't change things around if we're not "getting it". But we're trying hard to learn / absorb / be molded by all that He brings our way. The greatest tragedy for a Christian going through a trial is NOT that we had to go through it - but if we go through it and don't learn anything ... don't allow God to shape us and teach us, and build our character through the midst of it.
So without going any deeper into the theology lesson (my theology class at the Bible college begins in January! lol :), the point here is that we know we're here for the lessons God wants to teach us. I personally believe that the outcome is assured - thought that is not to say God isn't still in charge or can't change things around if we're not "getting it". But we're trying hard to learn / absorb / be molded by all that He brings our way. The greatest tragedy for a Christian going through a trial is NOT that we had to go through it - but if we go through it and don't learn anything ... don't allow God to shape us and teach us, and build our character through the midst of it.
If Hannaniah, Azariah, and Mishael (more commonly known as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego) had simply obeyed king Nebuchadnezzar, they could have avoided an absolutely awful trial. But then there would not have been a Daniel chapter 3 for us to read 2600 years later either. (Well OK, there would still be a 3rd chapter, but it would be about something else).
So we continue to pray as best we can, and ask our prayer partners to join us this way also, not to pray for the trials to end before God's timing, but that we might get the most benefit out of them. How awful it would be to go through all this and miss the lessons they were intended to teach us!!!
Ever so slowly, we are being changed in all this. We are learning to trust God; we are learning to "not sweat the small stuff", we are learning to trust that God really is in control of all things, at all times, in all ways.
Ever so slowly, we are being changed in all this. We are learning to trust God; we are learning to "not sweat the small stuff", we are learning to trust that God really is in control of all things, at all times, in all ways.
Our "near miss" this past Friday when Daniel & Andrea were in an auto accident was a good example of this. They were driving north on our road and about to turn right into our drive way coming home from Daniel's chemo clinic appointment. As she slowed (brake lights and turn signals all working and on), the driver behind her was both talking on the phone, and (he says) fishing for something in his pocket ... i.e. not watching the road. By the time he looked up, Andrea was nearly stopped in front of him. He swerved to the right shoulder and off the road narrowly avoiding rear-ending our car. He'd have gone completely around her if she hadn't been turning into the driveway. But as the car turned, he hit the right, front fender - just a couple feet in front of Daniel's door! Damage was minor, no one was hurt, the car is still driveable, and it was clearly his fault. I was really fearful that this would freak out Daniel - who always seems to be just a heartbeat away from succumbing to the constant stress in his life anyway. But quite to the contrary, as Andrea wrote in her earlier entry, Daniel thought it was "really cool" to have been in "his first accident". Really? REALLY?! Well, thank you Lord - I can't imagine any other source of that kind of reaction. He enjoyed even more that the police officer that showed up was a K-9 unit and Daniel got to say hi to the dog and check out the SUV cruiser for awhile.
Further demonstrating that this was in God's hands from beginning to end, as they were pulling into the driveway in the first place, she was having to navigate around a delivery truck parked there. For a week or two prior, my cousin in Tennessee had been emailing with me to arrange a gift to get to Daniel from a woman in her prayer group that had been praying for Daniel for some time. She'd felt led to get Daniel a gift and we'd been going through the logistics of what kind of gift, shipping, timing, all that. And both these completely unrelated chains of events came together in such a way that, one of the nicest gifts Daniel has ever received was there waiting for him to take his mind off this situation that COULD HAVE BEEN really bad within only split-second differences in timing or locations. By the time I got home from work, they'd both forgotten completely about the accident and it's just been a non-issue for us entirely. What an incredible "coincidence"! :-) Of course not - God knew and has always known exactly what He was doing it and His timing is perfect in all things. The more and the faster we all come to rely on that understanding, the better off and the better disciples we will be.
As always, thank you all for your continued prayers, thoughts, notes, comments, and gifts.
I added a couple pictures to the CaringBridge album - one of the damage to the car, and the other of Daniel receiving his purple heart. For more pics of each, visit our Facebook Album at the links below.
Grace and Peace,
- Tim -
Accident damage Pics: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151256007479913.517334.665739912&type=1&l=71b484b088
Purple Heart Award Pics: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151256015774913.517335.665739912&type=1&l=12e373849b
Follow us on CaringBridge at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/danieljmiller
Friday, August 10, 2012
Not So "Fair" After All
The past two years, Daniel had to miss the Indiana State Fair because of
his back problems (caused by compression fractures in his lower back
from what turned out to be osteoporosis). This year, despite the
leukemia and being deep in the midst of chemotherapy, he was feeling
pretty good when the fair came around, and his uncle Tom (no the other
one) was generous enough to offer to pay his way. The staff at Riley
warned us to stay away from the animal barns due to the possibility of
infection, but gave us the all-clear to go. This bothered me a lot and I
really didn't want him to go. Personally, I have no use for the fair
and couldn't care less about it, but both Andrea and Daniel absolutely
love it and REALLY didn't want to miss it a third year in a row. So in
the end, I caved in and let them go (I worked most of the day and then
tried to get some things done at home while they were both gone with the
rest of my family.
It turned out to be a rotten day for me, but Andrea and Daniel had an absolute blast on all the rides. Monday he was worn out & pretty tired, but otherwise seemed OK. I kept my fingers crossed, but apparently not tight enough. But Tuesday, he was complaining about lower back pain - far down a the very base of his spine and into his hips. He was moving pretty slowly and not feeling that well by the time he got to his regular clinic appt. on Tuesday. The only thing they did at clinic was to draw blood and look at his cell counts. They had all dropped drastically from the week before. Not good news, but not unexpected with this phase of chemotherapy (at least it wasn't to the hospital staff. No one had bothered to tell us that this was expected. Grrr.
By that night though, his back was completely locked up and he was in terrible pain. His prescription pain meds helped enough for him to get a little sleep and I slept beside him on an air mattress helping him through the night with going to bathroom, getting meds, drinks, etc. It was a long night. But he seemed to be doing better during the day on Wed. so we didn't call the doctor, but again on Wed night, it hit him hard - much harder even than Tuesday night and even the prescription meds weren't touching the pain. He was struggling hard with depression and hating life. We talked for a long time, I gave him the maximum dose of his meds around 12:30, hit it with both ice and heat, and eventually around 2a he drifted off to sleep in our bed where he thought the mattress was more comfortable.
Thursday we called back to Riley and explained the situation and they brought us in for an exam and X-rays. They were clear and the doc felt that it was really just a side effect of over-doing it at the fair on Sunday (now 4 days prior). But he was also beginning to complain of slight hearing problems, joint pains, and some mild tremors. The doctor and we chalked it up to the fair, the pain meds, and massive psychological overload.
By Thursday night, he was feeling better (and some stronger pain meds were working well), but he was also running a low-grade fever. REALLY not what I wanted to see! Thursday night we both slept downstairs again and it was a relatively uneventful night except he continues to have trouble sleeping and is still constantly hungry as he comes down off the steroids. But the fever was not going away. It was holding fairly steady between 100-101. 101 is the threshold at which we have to take him to the hospital regardless and ANY sign of infection in an immune-compromised cancer patient is considered a medical emergency.
If you've followed our story for long, you know we're no strangers to midnight trips to the ER with fevers. But Daniel was certainly in no mood to head back to Riley again now with a fever. But it topped 101 earlier today (Fri) and so off we went with Daniel EXTREMELY upset over these events.
When this happens, they do blood counts again, and also take "cultures" of his blood to see whether anything grows that would indicate a bacterial or viral infection. And if his blood counts are below a certain number (and they were), he is automatically admitted to the hospital so they can observe him, pump him with antibiotics, and wait to see what the cultures do over the next 48hrs. You can imagine his excitement at being told he was being admitted.
There was no room available in the usual 5th floor hematology/ Oncology (called "HemOnc") ward, so they found us a room in the Stem Cell ward next door. Because there is a risk that he has an infection, we're in a private room. That part is nice. I came up after a long day at work to relieve Andrea and spend the night with Daniel. This is our usual routine for admissions as Andrea has a terrible time on the chair/beds provided for parents here in the rooms. About the time I arrived, the doctor came in to do a nasal swab (insult to injury you know for poor Daniel) and we were told that they have already seen a few cases of a new strain of Swine Flu from kids who have attended local fairs - even those who didn't visit the animal barns. Great. Combined with the news from the Fair that they'd sent home all the piggies that day because they too were running fevers and the Fairgrounds didn't want to risk spreading infection among the pigs (yeah, what about us humans?) I was NOT a happy camper about having caved in and let him go in the first place. This trip to the Fair is getting more expensive by the day for our poor Daniel.
The most recent "insult" was around 10:00 or so when the nurse came in and informed me that I will now have to wear full gown, mask, and gloves any time I'm in the room with Daniel. I honestly thought he was kidding me, but that didn't last long. New hospital policy, you know. It's for the sake of the other kids on the ward and that part I very much DO get. So as I sit here sweltering and trying to type with gown, mask, and gloves at 2am, I'm wondering whether I'll be getting any sleep at all.
But of far, FAR more concern to me is the possibility of Daniel actually having contracted something serious with his immune system so weakened. In all honesty, it's been a real test of faith for me to stay strong about this and keep my eyes focused on the Prince of Peace. Blood tests and nose swabs won't have results back for at least 24 and probably 48 hours. His temp is down a little (99.8) but still not back to normal. His heart rate has remained elevated and even as he sleeps next to me is still reading 140. I don't like that either (below 100 is closer to normal).
So the next couple of days are going to be critical in seeing whether this is just a minor bug, or something more major. Fighting a nasty flu bug is bad enough with a healthy immune system! Obviously, we covet all the prayer we can get.
- For God to be glorified in all this and for His will to be done in our lives
- For complete healing
- For quick, clear test results
- For us NOT to catch anything new here at the hospital
- For no mistakes and good care here from doctors and nurses
- For Daniel's mental state and perseverance
- For Andrea and I to stay strong, healthy, and remain a positive example and provide wise counsel to Daniel
- For us not to miss any opportunities we may have to witness or serve others while we're in the midst of this.
A HUGE thank you to all our friends and relatives who have been walking this path with us - whether in person or "virtually". We covet, FEEL, and thank you for every prayer.
Ultimately, we rest in the knowledge that God keeps His promises. "And we KNOW that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Rom 8:28). So we thank our loving Father in ALL circumstances ... including this one ... knowing that ultimately He will work this into a plan for His glory, for our good, and that will somehow benefit others. We may not see that good yet in this life - you never know. But when we consider what all this might look like to us in 100 or 1000 or even a million years from now - we can be absolutely certain that the "inconveniences" of this lifetime will be remembered only for the extent to which we allowed God to use them in our lives to shape our character (which of course we will take with us into eternity) or to bring Glory to Him. We pray only that we will trust Him enough to lead us through these valleys in such a way as to maximize the benefit - whatever that may be - of these trials.
To God be the glory both now and forever. He is always worthy. We believe and trust in You Lord. Help us to believe and trust You more.
Grace and peace to all,
- Tim -
Mirrored on our CaringBridge site here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/danieljmiller/journal
It turned out to be a rotten day for me, but Andrea and Daniel had an absolute blast on all the rides. Monday he was worn out & pretty tired, but otherwise seemed OK. I kept my fingers crossed, but apparently not tight enough. But Tuesday, he was complaining about lower back pain - far down a the very base of his spine and into his hips. He was moving pretty slowly and not feeling that well by the time he got to his regular clinic appt. on Tuesday. The only thing they did at clinic was to draw blood and look at his cell counts. They had all dropped drastically from the week before. Not good news, but not unexpected with this phase of chemotherapy (at least it wasn't to the hospital staff. No one had bothered to tell us that this was expected. Grrr.
By that night though, his back was completely locked up and he was in terrible pain. His prescription pain meds helped enough for him to get a little sleep and I slept beside him on an air mattress helping him through the night with going to bathroom, getting meds, drinks, etc. It was a long night. But he seemed to be doing better during the day on Wed. so we didn't call the doctor, but again on Wed night, it hit him hard - much harder even than Tuesday night and even the prescription meds weren't touching the pain. He was struggling hard with depression and hating life. We talked for a long time, I gave him the maximum dose of his meds around 12:30, hit it with both ice and heat, and eventually around 2a he drifted off to sleep in our bed where he thought the mattress was more comfortable.
Thursday we called back to Riley and explained the situation and they brought us in for an exam and X-rays. They were clear and the doc felt that it was really just a side effect of over-doing it at the fair on Sunday (now 4 days prior). But he was also beginning to complain of slight hearing problems, joint pains, and some mild tremors. The doctor and we chalked it up to the fair, the pain meds, and massive psychological overload.
By Thursday night, he was feeling better (and some stronger pain meds were working well), but he was also running a low-grade fever. REALLY not what I wanted to see! Thursday night we both slept downstairs again and it was a relatively uneventful night except he continues to have trouble sleeping and is still constantly hungry as he comes down off the steroids. But the fever was not going away. It was holding fairly steady between 100-101. 101 is the threshold at which we have to take him to the hospital regardless and ANY sign of infection in an immune-compromised cancer patient is considered a medical emergency.
If you've followed our story for long, you know we're no strangers to midnight trips to the ER with fevers. But Daniel was certainly in no mood to head back to Riley again now with a fever. But it topped 101 earlier today (Fri) and so off we went with Daniel EXTREMELY upset over these events.
When this happens, they do blood counts again, and also take "cultures" of his blood to see whether anything grows that would indicate a bacterial or viral infection. And if his blood counts are below a certain number (and they were), he is automatically admitted to the hospital so they can observe him, pump him with antibiotics, and wait to see what the cultures do over the next 48hrs. You can imagine his excitement at being told he was being admitted.
There was no room available in the usual 5th floor hematology/ Oncology (called "HemOnc") ward, so they found us a room in the Stem Cell ward next door. Because there is a risk that he has an infection, we're in a private room. That part is nice. I came up after a long day at work to relieve Andrea and spend the night with Daniel. This is our usual routine for admissions as Andrea has a terrible time on the chair/beds provided for parents here in the rooms. About the time I arrived, the doctor came in to do a nasal swab (insult to injury you know for poor Daniel) and we were told that they have already seen a few cases of a new strain of Swine Flu from kids who have attended local fairs - even those who didn't visit the animal barns. Great. Combined with the news from the Fair that they'd sent home all the piggies that day because they too were running fevers and the Fairgrounds didn't want to risk spreading infection among the pigs (yeah, what about us humans?) I was NOT a happy camper about having caved in and let him go in the first place. This trip to the Fair is getting more expensive by the day for our poor Daniel.
The most recent "insult" was around 10:00 or so when the nurse came in and informed me that I will now have to wear full gown, mask, and gloves any time I'm in the room with Daniel. I honestly thought he was kidding me, but that didn't last long. New hospital policy, you know. It's for the sake of the other kids on the ward and that part I very much DO get. So as I sit here sweltering and trying to type with gown, mask, and gloves at 2am, I'm wondering whether I'll be getting any sleep at all.
But of far, FAR more concern to me is the possibility of Daniel actually having contracted something serious with his immune system so weakened. In all honesty, it's been a real test of faith for me to stay strong about this and keep my eyes focused on the Prince of Peace. Blood tests and nose swabs won't have results back for at least 24 and probably 48 hours. His temp is down a little (99.8) but still not back to normal. His heart rate has remained elevated and even as he sleeps next to me is still reading 140. I don't like that either (below 100 is closer to normal).
So the next couple of days are going to be critical in seeing whether this is just a minor bug, or something more major. Fighting a nasty flu bug is bad enough with a healthy immune system! Obviously, we covet all the prayer we can get.
- For God to be glorified in all this and for His will to be done in our lives
- For complete healing
- For quick, clear test results
- For us NOT to catch anything new here at the hospital
- For no mistakes and good care here from doctors and nurses
- For Daniel's mental state and perseverance
- For Andrea and I to stay strong, healthy, and remain a positive example and provide wise counsel to Daniel
- For us not to miss any opportunities we may have to witness or serve others while we're in the midst of this.
A HUGE thank you to all our friends and relatives who have been walking this path with us - whether in person or "virtually". We covet, FEEL, and thank you for every prayer.
Ultimately, we rest in the knowledge that God keeps His promises. "And we KNOW that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Rom 8:28). So we thank our loving Father in ALL circumstances ... including this one ... knowing that ultimately He will work this into a plan for His glory, for our good, and that will somehow benefit others. We may not see that good yet in this life - you never know. But when we consider what all this might look like to us in 100 or 1000 or even a million years from now - we can be absolutely certain that the "inconveniences" of this lifetime will be remembered only for the extent to which we allowed God to use them in our lives to shape our character (which of course we will take with us into eternity) or to bring Glory to Him. We pray only that we will trust Him enough to lead us through these valleys in such a way as to maximize the benefit - whatever that may be - of these trials.
To God be the glory both now and forever. He is always worthy. We believe and trust in You Lord. Help us to believe and trust You more.
Grace and peace to all,
- Tim -
Mirrored on our CaringBridge site here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/danieljmiller/journal
Friday, June 22, 2012
Final Hospital Admission?
(Mirroring our Caring Bridge Journal http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/danieljmiller/journal )
As I write this, Andrea and Daniel are heading out the driveway on the way back to the hospital. If his blood counts are good enough, he'll be admitted for his fourth & last PLANNED hospital admission and the end of this phase of chemotherapy ("Interim Maintenance"). I'll join them a bit later today after getting some things done around the house, and will be spending most of the weekend and the next couple nights in the room with Daniel.
As with the previous admissions, he'll get a rather large dose of a drug called Methotrexate through an IV over the next 24hrs. We then take blood samples every 6 to 12 hrs to see how it's clearing. Once it's below a certain point, he's allowed to go home. But due to the nasty nature of the drug and the potential of his body not clearing it (kidneys shutting down, etc.) they have to watch him constantly while its in his system. If all goes well, we should be back home Monday or Tues.
Daniel was pretty upset about today's admission last night and was even in tears at one point. Despite the fact that there's no spinal tap procedure this time around, he HATES anything to do with the hospital or doctors anymore. Who can blame him? I read Daniel 3 to him and prayed with him and he fell fast asleep. This morning he seemed in good spirits, but that can change in an instant if he lets himself start thinking too much about it.
When I questioned him about it last night, he said he was worried about the NEXT phase. Frankly, that one worries me too. We get a week off in between, but the name of it is "Delayed Intensification" if that tells you anything. The nurses have said (in front of him) that even though his hair has been coming back in well, this is the phase that often will knock it completely out. That's a big deal for him and we're praying that it doesn't happen. It'll be another 2 months of weekly outpatient clinic visits with LOTS of drugs being pumped into him. Then, finally, we'll get to the "Maintenance" phase that will continue for another 3 years with monthly visits, lots more spinals (28 of them I count), more steroids, and just more stuff than any of us wants to think about.
If all goes according to schedule, today is day T-1039 (counting down). It was pretty depressing this past week when I put together a day-by-day schedule for the rest of his treatment plan. Seeing how many more times he'll be given each type of drug (28 spinal injections, 180 more days of steroids, 1000 days of Mercaptopurine, etc.) - wow.
As much as we'd like to think it's all smooth sailing after we get through this next intense phase, well, it's not. It's gonna be 3 more years of cancer, chemo hell for Daniel. "Normal" will change a bit from what it is now, but not that much. What will however remain the same is our Rock, our Comforter, our Ever Present Help in Trouble, our Fourth Man in the fiery furnace.
Other than the obvious, my SECOND most important on-going prayer is that this opportunity will not be wasted. It's SO EASY to want to forget about everything, to just kind of go into denial on the good days and forget about it all. And there's nothing wrong with that. In many ways, it's necessary and healthy. Unfortunately, it's also all too easy to lump God in with that process. In so many ways, God and prayer, and leaning on Him has become almost synonymous with cancer and hosptials and chemotherapy through these past 7 months. We've spent so much time in prayer and petition to God as part of the cancer trial, that on the good days, it's far too easy to want to forget about HIM for awhile too. It's awful, it's wrong, it's stupid, but we're fighting against our own mind-games and defense mechanisms here.
What I really, REALLY want is for all of us, but especially Daniel, to draw close to our Father - to learn to see Him as a Best Friend; Someone to draw close to in both the hard and the joyful times - to see the MANY sides of His personality and love and character through the truly amazing variety of experiences that have already and continue to come our way during these 3 years. But it's largely up to me to model that, to help Daniel process all that happens, to help him make this a learning and growing experience. Despite the horrible nature of these events, I'm also convinced it can be, and is INTENDED to be, an amazing and powerful classroom of opportunity for all 3 of us. Heavenly Father, PLEASE don't let me waste this opportunity!
Thank you, everyone, for your continued prayers, support, and kind messages. Please know for certain that we read and appreciate every single one and they have a powerful effect on us all.
Grace and peace.
As I write this, Andrea and Daniel are heading out the driveway on the way back to the hospital. If his blood counts are good enough, he'll be admitted for his fourth & last PLANNED hospital admission and the end of this phase of chemotherapy ("Interim Maintenance"). I'll join them a bit later today after getting some things done around the house, and will be spending most of the weekend and the next couple nights in the room with Daniel.
As with the previous admissions, he'll get a rather large dose of a drug called Methotrexate through an IV over the next 24hrs. We then take blood samples every 6 to 12 hrs to see how it's clearing. Once it's below a certain point, he's allowed to go home. But due to the nasty nature of the drug and the potential of his body not clearing it (kidneys shutting down, etc.) they have to watch him constantly while its in his system. If all goes well, we should be back home Monday or Tues.
Daniel was pretty upset about today's admission last night and was even in tears at one point. Despite the fact that there's no spinal tap procedure this time around, he HATES anything to do with the hospital or doctors anymore. Who can blame him? I read Daniel 3 to him and prayed with him and he fell fast asleep. This morning he seemed in good spirits, but that can change in an instant if he lets himself start thinking too much about it.
When I questioned him about it last night, he said he was worried about the NEXT phase. Frankly, that one worries me too. We get a week off in between, but the name of it is "Delayed Intensification" if that tells you anything. The nurses have said (in front of him) that even though his hair has been coming back in well, this is the phase that often will knock it completely out. That's a big deal for him and we're praying that it doesn't happen. It'll be another 2 months of weekly outpatient clinic visits with LOTS of drugs being pumped into him. Then, finally, we'll get to the "Maintenance" phase that will continue for another 3 years with monthly visits, lots more spinals (28 of them I count), more steroids, and just more stuff than any of us wants to think about.
If all goes according to schedule, today is day T-1039 (counting down). It was pretty depressing this past week when I put together a day-by-day schedule for the rest of his treatment plan. Seeing how many more times he'll be given each type of drug (28 spinal injections, 180 more days of steroids, 1000 days of Mercaptopurine, etc.) - wow.
As much as we'd like to think it's all smooth sailing after we get through this next intense phase, well, it's not. It's gonna be 3 more years of cancer, chemo hell for Daniel. "Normal" will change a bit from what it is now, but not that much. What will however remain the same is our Rock, our Comforter, our Ever Present Help in Trouble, our Fourth Man in the fiery furnace.
Other than the obvious, my SECOND most important on-going prayer is that this opportunity will not be wasted. It's SO EASY to want to forget about everything, to just kind of go into denial on the good days and forget about it all. And there's nothing wrong with that. In many ways, it's necessary and healthy. Unfortunately, it's also all too easy to lump God in with that process. In so many ways, God and prayer, and leaning on Him has become almost synonymous with cancer and hosptials and chemotherapy through these past 7 months. We've spent so much time in prayer and petition to God as part of the cancer trial, that on the good days, it's far too easy to want to forget about HIM for awhile too. It's awful, it's wrong, it's stupid, but we're fighting against our own mind-games and defense mechanisms here.
What I really, REALLY want is for all of us, but especially Daniel, to draw close to our Father - to learn to see Him as a Best Friend; Someone to draw close to in both the hard and the joyful times - to see the MANY sides of His personality and love and character through the truly amazing variety of experiences that have already and continue to come our way during these 3 years. But it's largely up to me to model that, to help Daniel process all that happens, to help him make this a learning and growing experience. Despite the horrible nature of these events, I'm also convinced it can be, and is INTENDED to be, an amazing and powerful classroom of opportunity for all 3 of us. Heavenly Father, PLEASE don't let me waste this opportunity!
Thank you, everyone, for your continued prayers, support, and kind messages. Please know for certain that we read and appreciate every single one and they have a powerful effect on us all.
Grace and peace.
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