Staying the Course for Joey

I've updated this blog from its original text after Nick Keller posted some additional information on Joey's MRI.  The news it communicated was even worse than the original posting and frankly, after all the events of the past week nationally as well as some personally, it's been a real challenge to stay positive about anything.  But I found encouragement in my own words here in this post from yesterday so I thought I'd update the info on Joey and repost it in the hope that someone else might benefit also.

Nick's post from Wed morning @ 12:40a:

"We saw the MRI. Major growth on lumbar spine, brainstem, and in temple regions sort of growing towards the center of his brain. It WAS in CSF kind of "on" his brain, now it seems its growing into and through his actual brain cells and tissue. Wicked, evil disease. We discussed hospice and the reports from all relevant medical teams was, "anything else we could do will cause more harm and damage than any potential for help or therapeutic upside." They do believe his unusually high heart is do to the cancer spot/tumor/lesion on or in his brain stem. We flat out need a miracle. Otherwise, what he will have to endure, systematic loss of brain and organ function, system failure, ventilator again, it's unthinkable. They were especially concerned looking at this MRI vs. the one just a month ago (brain) bc Its really moving quickly. We have got to pray. All those scriptures I looked up and listed in previous CB postings on faith and healing, haven't changed. The promises regarding healing...haven't changed. We've exhausted every medical option that exists (due diligence.) Now, We look to God to do what only He can. All day long I kept thinking about the Israelites looking at the Red Sea, the Egyptians racing to basically cut their throats or put them back into slavery. They thought they were dead. Or at best, had no idea how God would get them out this, this time. Slaves for 400 years, finally free, and now this??? To die here, like this? All day long I've been getting texts from buddies and pastors from those very chapters. Don't believe it's a coincidence. The thought keeps going through my head, if its not impossible, it's not a miracle. Thx for praying for our Joey. "

We Christians should see this, NOT as a sign of defeat by any means - but a call to more fervent prayer and fasting on behalf of Joey.  Do not be discouraged.  Do not be disheartened.  God is much bigger than all of this!  What appears like a setback from a worldly perspective is in fact an opportunity for God to show Himself more powerful, more loving, more gracious from a heavenly perspective.  It is often God's "M.O." to ensure that all human means of "fixing" the problem have been exhausted so that, when He does move, there is no doubt to Whom the praise and glory belongs.

It is of course true that God does not always heal people of our diseases and infirmities. We live in a fallen world where sickness and death reign because of the existence of sin and evil.  One day all of that will be done away with.  In the mean time, we are commanded to pray for the healing of others in many places in Scripture ... to lay hands upon, to anoint with oil, to pray, and to fast for them to recover.  Ultimately it is God's decision whether, how, and when to heal someone.  "Prayer" has no power in itself and changes nothing on its own.  We must never credit "prayer" (which is to say Our Efforts), for that which God alone can do.  But we know that He commands us to pray, and we know that He chooses to work THROUGH our prayers.  So our role here is as clear as it has always been.  We must pray BELIEVING.  We must pray for what we (and others) need, and we must pray for those things that are consistent with God's nature - life, health, wholeness, joy, and freedom from pain and suffering.  These things are ALWAYS in God's will for us (and especially for 9 year old little boys!!)  [Matt 7:11, Luke 11:13, etc.]

I don't claim to have an inside line on God's will in this matter - but I do believe very strongly that He has indicated on MANY occasions in the past 2 years that His will is to heal Joey.  I have neither seen, heard, nor felt anything that would indicate the contrary at any time.  And so I will continue to pray, with all the confidence and faith I can muster, for Joey's complete and immediate healing.  If things do not go the way I believe they will, it will not shake my faith in God or in what I believe about His nature.  He is God, He is good, and He is faithful.  I am not qualified to judge Him to be otherwise, and no event in this fallen world that I can perceive through my limited and sinful existence can prove Him to be different.  But if such a thing were to happen, I am determined that it will not be because I did not steadfastly believe, pray, fast, or intercede often enough on behalf my friends Joey, Nick and Elizabeth.

I praise God for Who He is, for His goodness, and faithfulness, and grace and perfect love for all of us.  I praise Him that He has opened the way for me to come before Him and present my needs and to intercede on behalf of others, and that He has promised to hear our prayers.  I also thanks and praise Him that He has promised to always do what is best - even if I pray amiss - and that all things will ultimately work together into a pattern for good for those of us who are The Called.

Father, I thank You and praise You that You are good and holy and loving and merciful.  I thank You that You are in control and for all You have done for Joey and the Kellers to this time.  I ask You now to once again reach down into that hospital room and intervene on behalf of this precious little boy - Your creation - upon whom You have had Your hand and over whom You have kept special watch these many months.  Touch him now again and let your Holy Spirit move upon and within his body to bring healing, wholeness, and freedom from this disease of cancer.  In the name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord, by Who's stripes You have purchased our redemption and healing, I ask that you destroy every single cancerous molecule and cell in Joey's body.  I ask that you prevent every cancerous cell from reproducing and cause every damaged organ, tissue, cell, protein, enzyme, and molecule to be repaired and healed.  Restore balance to his chemical systems and eliminate all unhealthy, damaged, and malignant elements from his body along with any and all sources of such damage, disease, and illness.  I also come against any outside forces - be they physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual - that would affect Joey in any way other than bringing him back toward total health.  I ask that You hold Joey and the Kellers in the very palm of Your hand and set Your hedge and Your guard around them to keep them safe and secure.

I ask You Father, in the name of Jesus, for Joey's life, for his health, and for his immediate healing.  Let your light, love, power, and glory fill Joey, his family, and his room.  Let your supernatural peace descend upon them and guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus and let Your armor remain strong and fast about them protecting them from the flaming arrows of the enemy ... doubt, despair, fear, and discouragement ... let them have no place in their hearts and minds.  Send forth Your angels and Your Holy Spirit to raise up an ARMY of intercessors, oh Lord, on behalf of Joey and his family that we may participate in turning the tide of this battle.

Thank You for hearing my prayer and for Your healing power as it moves forth to Joey even now.  You are worthy of all glory and honor and power and praise both now and forever.

In the mighty name of Jesus I ask all these things,  Amen.

If you are a Christian, please continue to pray, fast, and believe with me!

- Tim -

A Prayer for Joey

Gracious and loving Heavenly Father, we come to you now in supplication for Joseph Keller and his family. Please lead us now in this time of prayer and hear the cry of our hearts.

We thank you for bringing the Kellers into our lives and for the privilege of being a part of all you have done and continue do in and through Joey, Nick and Elizabeth.  We praise You how deeply and graciously You have touched and sustained them through this most difficult trial.  We worship and adore You as Creator and Sustainer of all life and all living things.  We honor you as Creator of the Universe and Master of all.  You, and You alone, define love, grace, goodness, mercy, and joy, and we look to You now on behalf of Joey, Nicolas, and Elizabeth in this hour of desperate need.  You formed Joey from the beginning of his conception and indeed knew him from before time itself was created or the foundations of the world were laid.  And his life and Your plans for his life are before you at all times.  We have seen Your hand at work in his life on so many occasions to keep him from the jaws of untimely death and to heal the damage to his body from diseases and treatments.  We thank You and praise You and worship You for your mercy and grace to this point.

We now ask You to touch Joey again with Your power and bring release from disease and suffering, restoration to health, and regeneration within his body to strength and long life.  And we believe completely that this is Your will for him as we have seen You move in this same way so many times before.

You have granted to us who believe, access to the awesome and powerful name of Jesus and You have commanded us to use it in battle against our enemy and his kingdom as well as against sickness and disease. And so it is in the mighty name of Jesus and by the power of His shed blood that I come against Satan now on behalf of the Kellers.  I command any and all foul and unclean spirits to immediately cease and desist all activity regarding Joey Keller, his parents Nick and Elizabeth, his doctors, nurses, and any other hospital staff, family, and visitors associated with his case and care.  You are commanded to be gone from the Keller's room along with any backups, replacements, or other such beings or devices of your use or influence and to have no further contact or influence upon these people, or the equipment, facilities, or processes associated with Joey's case and care.  I tear down and destroy any strongholds, footholds, attachments, or links that may exist to these people and objects and declare that you are forbidden to return or have any further contact or influence with any of the people, objects, places, or processes I have named.  In the name of our Lord God and Savior - Yeshua HaMashiach, get out and stay out.

Father, I ask for you to fill that hospital room, and indeed the entire ward, with your presence, power, glory, majesty, light, love, peace, and healing energy.  I ask that your Holy Spirit would descend upon that room and all those present and all who enter it.  Surround, fill, and permeate every part Joey's, Nick's, and Elizabeth's beings with Your supernatural peace, comfort, hope, trust, and faith.  Envelop them in Your love and light and holiness and cause them to rest in the knowledge and faith of Your control and Your promise to work ALL things - even THIS trial - into a pattern for good for them.

Please set your hedge of protection round about Joey's bed, about the room, and about the entire ward and post your angelic guard to the north, south, east, and west, from the floor beneath to the roof above, and at ever access point that no creature would be allowed to enter except they be about Your business.

Let your presence fill their hearts, minds, and the very atmosphere of their room with a dramatic and powerful Peace, Hope, Reassurance, Comfort, and JOY that comes from knowing You and the perfect confidence that You are in control and that You will cause all things to work out for good and in Your perfect plan for Joey and all those involved.

Father, I pray as specifically as I know how for Joey and his current afflictions.  In his body, I pray against every form of sickness, disease, infirmity, and malady.  I pray specifically against cancer - in all its forms and causes, and against the seizures he's been having - in all their forms and causes.  I ask that You would destroy every last trace of cancer, malignancy, and mutation currently in his body - in every system, in every organ, in every tissue, in every cell, in every gene, in every protein, in ever enzyme and amino acid - down to every last molecule of his being.  Destroy every malignant, mutated, or out-of-place molecule or cell and prevent them from reproducing.  Cause his own immune system to be restored and to recognize and attack and destroy every malformed molecule and cell and to rebuild and strengthen its own ability to protect him.  Cause all tissue and cellular damage to be repaired immediately or replaced with good cells and tissues.  Bring all chemical and physiological processes back into balance and proper functioning.

I pray for the other aspects of Joey's being to be healed, restored, and strengthened as well - his heart, mind, soul, and spirit.  Renew, restore, rejuvenate and regenerate  all aspects of his being and their dependencies and interactions in both the physical and non-physical realms.  Bring Joey back to complete health, vigor, strength, and life in every way he has need.

I pray too for his parents Nick and Elizabeth.  Descend up on them both in power. Open their eyes and ears to Your presence and Your work.  Fill them and guard their minds with the Peace of Jesus and remove all fear and doubt.  Give them rest - physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually ... cause them to rest in You and renew, restore, rejuvenate, and regenerate them in their hearts, minds, souls, and spirits.  Draw them to a confidence in Your power, providence, and will and willingness to heal their little boy and let it bring them to a point of rest and peace in You.  Give them wisdom and courage to stand firm in their faith, and to make good decisions and right actions on behalf of Joey and all the other burdens and responsibilities they bear.  We ask also for your mercy and grace where Nick's job is concerned that his employer would be gracious and as accommodating as possible to the family through this trial.

I pray that You would continue to raise up family, friends, and other Christians to support, encourage, and share in carrying the burdens the Kellers bear during this time as well.  Whether through finances, food, caring for the house, or any other way that the Body of Christ can find to bless and support and encourage them.  But most of all, I pray that Your Holy Spirit would continue to go forth raising up even more who would pray, intercede, and fast on behalf of Joey and his family.  Place Your burden for prayer upon the hearts of those whom You would call to help and work alongside the Kellers.  Do not let Your people hear the story of Joey and walk away unburdened for intercession.  Work through these events in the lives of those who have been touched by this trial to make us better, more disciplined prayer warriors and intercessors, more other-centered, and more faithful.  Draw people unto Yourself through these events and let us all come away with a deeper relationship to You, and a deeper understanding and commitment to prayer in general.

Most of all Father, I pray that all these things would not be in vain; that there would come from these events the greatest possible good for all those involved, but most especially for You and Your kingdom.  May all the lessons available to be learned here - whether in Joey, his parents, the doctors and medical staff, the prayer team, or the casual passersby - be learned and learned well.  May each person come away changed by these events in a way that ultimately brings glory to You and draws more people to You and deeper in their walk with You and Your Word.  Let no lesson be lost.

Hear our prayer Father.  Show Thyself strong and loving and gracious - as Master over all life and death and sickness and infirmity.  Glorify Thy name before men and especially among those who would deny You or place their trust and hope in the wisdom and acts of Man rather than You.

We love You and thank You and worship You and glorify Thy mighty and holy name before all men and before the hosts of heaven.  For You alone are worthy to receive all glory and honor and power and praise.  Your's is the kingdom and glory and the power forever.

All these things we ask in the name that is above all names - the glorious, powerful, wonderful, precious name of Jesus.

Amen.

Thanks for Praying for Joey Keller

My apologies for not getting to this earlier, but I wanted to extend my personal thanks - and forward a "Thank You" from the Kellers as well to all who participated in our prayer events over the past 2+ weeks.  The Round-The-Clock (RTC) Prayer Vigils for Joey ended on Sunday at midnight. It was a fantastic success and we saw God do some truly amazing things!

For those who may not have been following closely, Joey Keller is a 9 year old little boy who is a friend of Daniel's.  His parents Nick and Elizabeth have also become friends of ours over the past several months.  Daniel and Joey met one another in our homeschool co-op and Andrea and Elizabeth knew one another through the boys' shared classes.  Joey has been fighting a severely aggressive form of brain cancer for the past few years and has suffered multiple relapses (which typically drastically reduces the chances for successful recovery.)  The odds of him beating it have been stated as less than 2%.  When Daniel was diagnosed with leukemia back in January, our paths began to cross much more frequently with the Kellers at Riley Children's hospital and eventually Nick and I met and began to get acquainted as well.  Over the past several months we've all gotten to know each other on a level that's difficult to describe, simply due to our shared journey: navigating the medical community, cancer, faith, and all the rest that comes with staring a parent's worst nightmare in the face, 24/7, for months (or in their case, years) at a time.

On the evening of Monday Sept. 24th, after having posted a fairly positive report of Joey's health and progress, Nick posted a single line that nearly stopped the hearts of all of us who follow his CaringBridge site with these words,

"Joey either had a stroke or seizure. Just took EMS to Riley. Going to get ct scan. Gotta go."

(You can read the history of journal entries here:  http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/joeykeller)

I have set up to get notifications from the Kellers' CB site on my phone and in email, but somehow I missed this and a couple of follow-ups until the following morning when Andrea texted me about it.  I hurriedly read through the past few hours' posts and was in tears at the situation that was being described.  My heart always misses a couple of beats when the Kellers post a CB entry (not a great demonstration of faith there is it?) but this time just hit me like a truck.  To the best of my knowledge, nobody, to this day, knows what actually happened.  While sitting in the bathtub that evening, Joey became unresponsive.  He was alert & moving, but acting very strangely and not responding to Nick's voice or actions.  They immediately called EMS and rushed him to the hospital.  His situation went downhill quickly and soon he was nearly catatonic, having seizures, and then stopped breathing altogether.

Every test they ran came up blank as far as causes.  The cancer in his brain stem had been causing partial paralysis in various parts of his body recently, but an MRI & CT scan showed that it had not progressed at all.  There was no sign of seizure activity in his EEG even though they were watching it happen.  In short, they were all stumped but doing all they could to keep him alive.  The doctors in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) told the Kellers they should expect the worst and to being making "preparations".  At one point, they were even telling Nick and Elizabeth that they needed to start considering "pulling the plug" on Joey's life support.  But Nick and Elizabeth refused to give in to this loss of hope and continued to pray and pray and pray.  Their CB posts during this time convey the desperation during those dark hours.

Even with as much as Andrea & I have been through this past year with Daniel and the initial ups and downs of the doctors assessments of his "survivability", I know I cannot begin to imagine what the Kellers have been through.  The doctors were regularly conferring (i.e. "guessing") about causes, offering widely varying theories and just as differing treatment ideas to the Kellers.  All this was compounded for them by having gone days ... up to at least 5 at one point ... with virtually no sleep at all.

Early in that first week, I felt a burden within my own heart to rally praying people for Joey.  Now let there be no mistake about my meaning here - there is an absolutely GINORMOUS team of people, literally from around the world, praying for Joey on a full-time basis.  The vast majority of them have no clue who I am and many have known the Kellers better and longer than we have.  But the burden I had was to see something "formal", something "organized" to get people plugged-into so that we could be sure (and the Kellers could also know) that there was actual Round-The-Clock prayer coverage for Joey ... every second of every day.  I asked around to see whether something similar already existed or if there was any single point-of-contact for the veritable army of people around the world collectively known as "TEAM JOEY".

Though a few people had previously organized different events: T-shirt sales (yes, Team Joey even has their own T-shirts!! :), food ministries, and other things, I was unable to find anyone organizing prayer (though many, MANY were praying.)

A couple more days slipped by and then I remember very clearly hearing the Lord's voice telling me that nobody else was going to do this and it was MY JOB to get it done.  "OK, OK, OK! ... I have no idea how to do this, but I'll do what I can."  I was thinking that I really didn't know how to get in touch with people and wondering whether anyone would even care about what I was trying to organize since no more than a handful even knew me from Adam.  Now God never actually said this, but at that point, there was definitely a kind of "If you build it, they will come" moment. :-)  Corny, I know, but it at least gave me something with which to move forward.

The only place I knew to start was Facebook - that amazing source of communication, information, and (as often as not) GRIEF most of us have come to love and hate.  However, it was clearly the best (and possibly the only) means of trying to connect with the hundreds - possibly thousands - of Team Joey members out there who had no idea who I was.

Now if you're following this blog of mine, at this point, the story is probably starting to connect for you with what you've seen here over the past couple weeks.  Without going into a lot of detail, I setup a Facebook "event" to invite people to in order to pray for Joey.  I divided up the first 30 hours or so (Sat evening through Sunday night) into 1/2 hr time slots and invited people to sign up for a specific slot.  I posted notices on Facebook, in our CaringBridge site, and here in this blog and asked others to pass it on as well.

We didn't get them all filled in time, but we did pretty well as word began getting out and others reposted the info and invitation.  Sunday morning I set up 5 more such "events" to get through Friday of that week (10/5).  It was a clumsy way to do the sign-ups because people could only request what slots they wanted in posts & comments and then only Andrea & I had to manually edit the event info to add their names.  It was a VERY busy weekend for the two of us and we scrambled all day Sat and Sunday to keep up with the requests.  But it was a WONDERFUL burden to bear.  The entire week filled up in just a few hours really, and we were simply in awe of watching God work as we saw the news spread and people respond.  Something like 292 half-hour time slots were filled and many had multiple people in them.  It was abundantly clear that this was God's work from the beginning, and my part was more like just pulling the cork out of the hole in the dike.  He did the rest and we were more like bystanders as people clamored to get behind Joey, Nick, and Elizabeth in this organized prayer event.

On Tuesday (10/2), we (the Millers) were all at Riley for the start of Daniel's Maintenance Phase treatments and decided to try an impromptu visit to the PICU to see if we might possibly make contact with Nick and Elizabeth (they had no idea we were coming, and we weren't even sure we could FIND them, much less get into the ward.)  But as grace would have it, we did find them, and although Daniel wasn't able to come in, Andrea & I were able to spend nearly an hour with them, discuss all that had been going on, and even pray with them.  Their exhaustion was so evident that all of us were in tears during much of the visit.  But it was such a blessing to connect with them, to see first hand what was happening and get a real "inside" report of what they'd been going through and what they needed.

Perhaps the most important thing we took away from that visit was that the prayer "war" we were fighting for Joey's life seemed to be far more spiritual than it was physical.  This was an important revelation to us and, again, we understood that God had orchestrated the visit for a specific purpose He had in mind.  (We actually probably shouldn't have been able to get into to see them as non-family members - but when we showed up, a series of "coincidental" events transpired to get us right in to see them and none of the staff even thought twice about our being there.  Amazing!)  But we needed to get the word out to the prayer team that they must focus on the spiritual aspects at least as much as the physical ones.  The Kellers described a "darkness" and depression and negativity that permeated their room and the attitudes of most of the doctors when they came in.  It was having a visible effect on Joey - even before he was conscious, and the words of Scripture in Eph 6:12 became a rallying point for us and we tried hard to communicate this to the others in the prayer team.

Not surprisingly, as we posted the information from the Kellers, many people resonated with it and several had even stated that they had been sensing the same thing in their prayer times.  This kind of "resonance" and other such confirmations were a common experience during the setting up of the prayer vigils as well - I got several really appreciative notes from people who'd also been burdened with wanting to see something more organized set up to rally people around the Kellers in prayer.  So again, we were given a little glimpse into God's work "behind the scenes" that had been going on for quite awhile.  He just wanted someone to do something as simple as raise up a banner for the troops to rally behind and they came flocking.  In this case, the banner consisted of a few Facebook events with titles about praying for Joey.

We saw people from all over the world and all walks of life - most, complete strangers to one another - come together for a common purpose under a common banner and FIGHT ... on their knees ... for Joey's life, health, and well-being.

As the days went by, we all waited on pins and needles for Nick's CaringBridge posts to hear how things were going.  They were excruciatingly far between (for certainly understandable reasons), but we all kept praying anyway.  And very quickly (though I know it seemed like an eternity to Nick and Eliz), we saw Joey move from a point where nearly everyone close to him thought it might really be "over" - to a nearly full recovery against all odds and a great deal of medical "advice".  We saw an entire medical team astounded by his miraculous recovery.  We saw dozens and dozens of people step up and volunteer for time slots as individuals, as couples, and as families - from late at night, to the wee hours of the morning, to commutes back and forth to work, to evening family times ... people filled up the slots and prayed and prayed and prayed.  And most importantly, we saw Joey recover from about as close as anyone could come to death and then back away.

Near the end of that first week of the prayer vigil (week & 2 for the Kellers), Joey was doing much better, and by Thursday, he was finally off the ventilator and breathing on his own again ... but we wanted to see him HOME!  Several people began to ask about continuing the vigil for another week - "praying him home" as it were.  I'd been thinking about the same thing and was grateful for the confirmation that I should continue for another week.  This time though, some friends pointed me to a website that would make the process MUCH easier on Andrea & I so that we didn't have to process all the requests manually; rather, people could sign-up themselves for the slots they wanted and see the results immediately (it's called SignUpGenius.com - it was free and really a big help for Andrea & I!)

The 2nd week of the vigil though, never completely filled up. That was disappointing, but it was also clear that we had moved though the worst of it and Joey was doing MUCH better and we were confident that God was working through all that prayer to bring Joey back out of this horrible ordeal.  The fact that so many were willing to sacrifice of their time for a whole week - long enough to get Joey off the ventilator and back on the road to recovery - was amazing and enormously appreciated.  Those that continued with us through the second week were, I believe, instrumental "participants" with God in getting Joey the next step - which was to return home.  Now we do know that MANY others were praying as they often as they could but were unable to sign up for specific time slots for various reasons.  We know also that MANY, MANY others pray for Joey regularly and either aren't Facebook subscribers or simply never got the word of our prayer vigil.  And we know that God most certainly worked in many OTHER ways than these particular events.

When Nick posted a new update on the following Tuesday (10/9) that Joey was intentionally "messing with" the nurses by holding his breath to set off the monitor alarms just to watch them all come running in the room, and then laughing mischievously at what he'd done, I laughed till I cried.  It was such an incredible relief, such a JOY, to see Joey "back" among us (and as Daniel frequently noted to us, Joey's name is strikingly close to the word "Joy" and often pronounced in a way that is indistinguishable from it!)  The doctors had told Nick and Eliz at one point that there was almost certainly irreversible brain damage after the seizures and that, even if he did recover, "it wouldn't be the same Joey".  This of course was DEVASTATING for the Kellers to hear and all of us as well.  But Joey's journey has been an exercise in faith from beginning to end, and once again, they refused to accept that prognosis and prayed all the harder.  Seeing Nick's post on Tuesday 10/9 was nothing short of miraculous for all of us who had been watching them.  God didn't really seem to care about the doctors' prognostications and seemed to delight in demonstrating to us all that medical "odds" and the wisdom of Man mean nothing to Him.

I should note here that this is not to say that we are not all immensely appreciative of modern medicine, doctors, and the technology available to us.  We certainly are.  Both my wife and son have been direct beneficiaries (and myself secondarily thereby) of the astounding advancement of this technology in recent years as they both go through chemotherapy as well.  In this case however, I have been pretty critical of some of the things that the Kellers' medical team said and did ... some really stupid things in my opinion ... things that should be criticized and from which several lessons should be learned.  But this is not to impugn medicine or the medical community as a whole and I want to make that clear.  Nevertheless, as wonderful as this technology is, it is nothing in comparison with the power, and will of God our Father and Creator.  And that is perhaps the greatest lesson any of us can take from the events of these past few weeks.

Joey was released from Riley the following day (Thurs 10/11). Though he's still on a feeding tube due to difficulty swallowing, he's been breathing fine and slowly regaining his memory (a great deal of which was lost during the worst of the ordeal in the hospital.)  Most of this seems to be confined to fairly short-term memory, but in the picture below, Joey is instructing some family members (by memory) how to rebuild a rather large and complex LEGO set of his.  God is good. :)


If you're still with me - thanks for reading.  I know it's been a long entry, but I wanted to capture a few of the amazing details of these past two weeks - at least from our perspective - and bear witness to all that we've been privileged to watch God accomplish.  I know it's been very beneficial for our family as well!  After 9 months of being pretty focused on ourselves with all that Daniel has been going through, it's been good to get the focus off of us and onto helping and serving someone else.  And few others are as near and dear to our hearts and our own journey as the Kellers are.  I must confess that we've never been very good at praying together as a family - despite many attempts to make this work over the years.  Yet the past two weeks have been a wonderful way for us to rally together over an important cause at least once each day.

We've watched Daniel grow in his own prayer life by leaps and bounds through this and establish a special kind of "prayer connection" with Joey that only another cancer survivor can really have.  One of our prayers throughout this ordeal has been that the lessons God has been teaching ALL of us through this time, would not be lost.  We pray this for Kellers, for ourselves, for our prayer team, and for all of TEAM JOEY moving forward.

Thank you for your prayers.  Thank you for your kind words and encouragement to us.  And thank you for your willingness to give - whether thoughts, time, or that special part of your heart that goes out to others with true intercessory prayer.  We especially thank those of you who have been our own family's regular supporters and intercessors and may not have known the Kellers previously, yet joined forces with us to pray for Joey.  Thanks also for putting up with my continual pestering for more prayer for them!  And as always, we thank you for all you've done in praying for and following our story as well.

ONE FINAL NOTE:
Though the Round-The-Clock Prayer Vigils have ended, we have established a more or less permanent page for those praying for Joey.  We'll use this to help get word out for specific prayer requests, share our thoughts, info, experiences, and "praise reports" in interceding for the Kellers, and post any future events if the need arises.  So please be sure to "like" this page if you'd like to continue with us or just follow what's happening with the prayer team.  https://www.facebook.com/PrayingForJoeyk

A similar group was formed by friends of ours for Daniel here:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/305553332819553

And you are always welcome to join either our or the Kellers' CaringBridge sites here:  http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/joeykeller

and here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/danieljmiller

Grace and Peace in Jesus,

- Tim -

Not So "Fair" After All

The past two years, Daniel had to miss the Indiana State Fair because of his back problems (caused by compression fractures in his lower back from what turned out to be osteoporosis).  This year, despite the leukemia and being deep in the midst of chemotherapy, he was feeling pretty good when the fair came around, and his uncle Tom (no the other one) was generous enough to offer to pay his way.  The staff at Riley warned us to stay away from the animal barns due to the possibility of infection, but gave us the all-clear to go.  This bothered me a lot and I really didn't want him to go.  Personally, I have no use for the fair and couldn't care less about it, but both Andrea and Daniel absolutely love it and REALLY didn't want to miss it a third year in a row.  So in the end, I caved in and let them go (I worked most of the day and then tried to get some things done at home while they were both gone with the rest of my family.

It turned out to be a rotten day for me, but Andrea and Daniel had an absolute blast on all the rides.  Monday he was worn out & pretty tired, but otherwise seemed OK.  I kept my fingers crossed, but apparently not tight enough.  But Tuesday, he was complaining about lower back pain - far down a the very base of his spine and into his hips.  He was moving pretty slowly and not feeling that well by the time he got to his regular clinic appt. on Tuesday.  The only thing they did at clinic was to draw blood and look at his cell counts.  They had all dropped drastically from the week before. Not good news, but not unexpected with this phase of chemotherapy (at least it wasn't to the hospital staff. No one had bothered to tell us that this was expected. Grrr.

By that night though, his back was completely locked up and he was in terrible pain.  His prescription pain meds helped enough for him to get a little sleep and I slept beside him on an air mattress helping him through the night with going to bathroom, getting meds, drinks, etc.  It was a long night.  But he seemed to be doing better during the day on Wed. so we didn't call the doctor, but again on Wed night, it hit him hard - much harder even than Tuesday night and even the prescription meds weren't touching the pain.  He was struggling hard with depression and hating life. We talked for a long time, I gave him the maximum dose of his meds around 12:30, hit it with both ice and heat, and eventually around 2a he drifted off to sleep in our bed where he thought the mattress was more comfortable.

Thursday we called back to Riley and explained the situation and they brought us in for an exam and X-rays.  They were clear and the doc felt that it was really just a side effect of over-doing it at the fair on Sunday (now 4 days prior).  But he was also beginning to complain of slight hearing problems, joint pains, and some mild tremors.  The doctor and we chalked it up to the fair, the pain meds, and massive psychological overload. 

By Thursday night, he was feeling better (and some stronger pain meds were working well), but he was also running a low-grade fever.  REALLY not what I wanted to see!  Thursday night we both slept downstairs again and it was a relatively uneventful night except he continues to have trouble sleeping and is still constantly hungry as he comes down off the steroids.  But the fever was not going away. It was holding fairly steady between 100-101.  101 is the threshold at which we have to take him to the hospital regardless and ANY sign of infection in an immune-compromised cancer patient is considered a medical emergency.

If you've followed our story for long, you know we're no strangers to midnight trips to the ER with fevers.  But Daniel was certainly in no mood to head back to Riley again now with a fever.  But it topped 101 earlier today (Fri) and so off we went with Daniel EXTREMELY upset over these events.

When this happens, they do blood counts again, and also take "cultures" of his blood to see whether anything grows that would indicate a bacterial or viral infection.  And if his blood counts are below a certain number (and they were), he is automatically admitted to the hospital so they can observe him, pump him with antibiotics, and wait to see what the cultures do over the next 48hrs.  You can imagine his excitement at being told he was being admitted.

There was no room available in the usual 5th floor hematology/ Oncology (called "HemOnc") ward, so they found us a room in the Stem Cell ward next door.  Because there is a risk that he has an infection, we're in a private room.  That part is nice.  I came up after a long day at work to relieve Andrea and spend the night with Daniel. This is our usual routine for admissions as Andrea has a terrible time on the chair/beds provided for parents here in the rooms.  About the time I arrived, the doctor came in to do a nasal swab (insult to injury you know for poor Daniel) and we were told that they have already seen a few cases of a new strain of Swine Flu from kids who have attended local fairs - even those who didn't visit the animal barns.  Great.  Combined with the news from the Fair that they'd sent home all the piggies that day because they too were running fevers and the Fairgrounds didn't want to risk spreading infection among the pigs (yeah, what about us humans?) I was NOT a happy camper about having caved in and let him go in the first place.  This trip to the Fair is getting more expensive by the day for our poor Daniel.

The most recent "insult" was around 10:00 or so when the nurse came in and informed me that I will now have to wear full gown, mask, and gloves any time I'm in the room with Daniel.  I honestly thought he was kidding me, but that didn't last long.  New hospital policy, you know.  It's for the sake of the other kids on the ward and that part I very much DO get.  So as I sit here sweltering and trying to type with gown, mask, and gloves at 2am, I'm wondering whether I'll be getting any sleep at all.

But of far, FAR more concern to me is the possibility of Daniel actually having contracted something serious with his immune system so weakened.  In all honesty, it's been a real test of faith for me to stay strong about this and keep my eyes focused on the Prince of Peace.  Blood tests and nose swabs won't have results back for at least 24 and probably 48 hours.  His temp is down a little (99.8) but still not back  to normal.  His heart rate has remained elevated and even as he sleeps next to me is still reading 140. I don't like that either (below 100 is closer to normal).

So the next couple of days are going to be critical in seeing whether this is just a minor bug, or something more major.  Fighting a nasty flu bug is bad enough with a healthy immune system!  Obviously, we covet all the prayer we can get. 
   - For God to be glorified in all this and for His will to be done in our lives
   - For complete healing
   - For quick, clear test results
   - For us NOT to catch anything new here at the hospital
   - For no mistakes and good care here from doctors and nurses
   - For Daniel's mental state and perseverance
   - For Andrea and I to stay strong, healthy, and remain a positive example and provide wise counsel to Daniel
   - For us not to miss any opportunities we may have to witness or serve others while we're in the midst of this.

A HUGE thank you to all our friends and relatives who have been walking this path with us - whether in person or "virtually".  We covet, FEEL, and thank you for every prayer.

Ultimately, we rest in the knowledge that God keeps His promises.  "And we KNOW that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Rom 8:28).  So we thank our loving Father in ALL circumstances ... including this one ... knowing that ultimately He will work this into a plan for His glory, for our good, and that will somehow benefit others.  We may not see that good yet in this life - you never know.  But when we consider what all this might look like to us in 100 or 1000 or even a million years from now - we can be absolutely certain that the "inconveniences" of this lifetime will be remembered only for the extent to which we allowed God to use them in our lives to shape our character (which of course we will take with us into eternity) or to bring Glory to Him.  We pray only that we will trust Him enough to lead us through these valleys in such a way as to maximize the benefit - whatever that may be - of these trials.

To God be the glory both now and forever.  He is always worthy.  We believe and trust in You Lord. Help us to believe and trust You more.

Grace and peace to all,

- Tim -

Mirrored on our CaringBridge site here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/danieljmiller/journal

A Mixed Bag

Mirrored on our CaringBridge site here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/danieljmiller/journal


After a week's delay to the start of our last intensive phase (next comes "maintenance"), today Daniel's blood counts were high enough to start the "Delayed Intensification" phase.  We've been looking forward to this one with mixed emotions.  It has all the promise of indeed being intense, but we're also looking forward to getting to the other end of it.  There will be nothing easy about the next 3 years, but it will definitely be better than what we're facing for the next 2 months.

Today started with the "good" news of decent blood counts and being able to start phase IV, but has pretty much gone downhill from there.  Forgive me if this sounds like "venting", but that's what it is. It's been a tough day and I feel like sharing.  Sorry to make you the beneficiaries, but think of it as a rolling prayer request. ha ha.

As I write this, Daniel has thrown up all his dinner and is now fighting the dry heaves.  I think it's the extra heavy does of anesthetic he got, but not really sure.  Could also be any of the three chemo drugs he got along with it.

During the spinal tap procedure they had trouble getting him completely "out".  This has happened before and they just keep pumping the anesthesia into him until he goes out.  But once he was finally out (the procedure itself went fairly smoothly) his heart rate & blood pressure dropped dangerously low.  There was some concern for awhile, but he came back on his own and other than a little nausea, was doing fine and filling me in on all the components he needed to get in "Monster Hunter" (his favorite Wii game) to get to the next level.

I had gone into work this morning and was waiting for confirmation that his blood counts were a "go" before leaving for the hospital.  Unfortunately, they were WAY late in getting the blood drawn and by the time I got word that we were g2g - I had to FLY down to the hospital to get there in time.  By the time I got there, he was already in the O.R., prepped, and ready to go.  He was upset and nervous as usual and his pulse was already passing 100.  I took over from mom with a back & neck massage and started a conversation about Monster Hunter and we got it back down to the low 80s before the doctor arrived.  I prayed through most of the procedure (since, if you recall from previous posts, the only time I can't watch a medical procedure is when it's this doctor and my son.)  But other than a little trouble getting him "out", it went well this time (the doc's getting better! :)

Afterward, in the recovery room, we had the tense moments about the low B.P. and then Daniel was complaining of being cold.  We were informed that the knob had broken off the thermostat and the vent was directly over the bed. (Great engineering guys - NOT.)  

As Daniel continued to wake up, I had a fairly long conversation with the doctor expressing my growing frustration at not getting any traction on his continued lack of growth.  I think she finally "understood" me when I used the word "unacceptable".  But we'll see.  In fairness, this doctor is somewhat caught in the middle between me and the other doctors who are the ones that need to be looking at these other issues.  As the oncologist, what I'm after is not her specialty, yet she is the one through whom everything has to go.  Anyway, we'll see how this plays out.  I realize nothing is going to happen physically until we're through this intensive phase, but what I'm not happy with is that there is no discussion, no plan, no ownership, and no "next step" in place.  Is that the engineer, the project manager, or the DAD in me coming out?  Doesn't really matter - they're stuck with me.

As we prepared to leave, we go the low-down on what the rest of this phase will look like.  Unfortunately, one of the primary drugs they'd wanted to give him ("Pegallated Aspariginase") turns out to give him a fairly severe allergic reaction.  They tried twice and then gave up a couple months ago.  So the "plan B" is a different drug that has to be given 6 times (on 6 different days) for each single dose the Peg-Asp. would have been given.  This means we're heading back to Riley every other day for a week and a half each time.  

Hmmm. Didn't know that.  

We also found out, it can't be administered through his port.  It has to be given my intramuscular injection - in the thigh.  

Hmmm. Didn't know that.  

Depending on the dosage he'll receive (which they didn't have yet today), they may have to give half of it in two different locations ... one in each leg ... every other day ... for a week and a half ... and they HURT.

Hmmm. Didn't know that.

Daniel REALLY doesn't do well with needles (yes, even after all he's been through).  As they were describing to us where to apply the Lidocane (a topical anesthetic cream) before he comes in, he caught on.  We played it way down talking about how much smaller injection needles are than the blood-draw and access needles he's used to.  I think we made some progress there. But the fact that these injections will make the muscle hurt didn't come up.  That's going to be a big problem ... especially as they keep injecting into the same area every other day.  This will be rough ... very rough.

My mood was going downhill fast this afternoon.  As we left, we stopped by the pharmacy downstairs where the doctor had called in a prescription about 45 min earlier, only to be informed it would be another 30-45 minutes.  Great.

As we sat there waiting, Andrea and I were talking about some financial issues predicated by our Family Doctor that I won't go into except to say that it didn't do my deteriorating mood any good at all.  I left Andrea & Daniel in the pharmacy waiting area and headed back to work since we'd driven separately.  The rest of the day at work didn't go much better, but at least I got 7 hours in.  How productive they were was another matter as my head was in a million other places.

As I left work, I found myself at the tail end of the thunderstorm that blew through minutes earlier.  REALLY need the rain - but did it have to be right when I wanted to drive home ... and in the same direction.  I know - gift horses and all that.  As I pulled in the drive way, I was accosted by the pesky little neighbor girl who was adamant that she needed to come in the house with me - if not to play with Daniel (whom I told her was not feeling well), then to be allowed to cook the can of soup she was carrying around in our microwave.  What?!  So I got this convoluted story about how they don't have a microwave, and couldn't find the cord to the hot plate, and the stove costs too much money, and ... Um no; not playing this game.  You'll have to have your parents get you something to eat.  I'll have to find out what all that was about another time, but not tonight.

Since I got home, Daniel has been getting more and more nauseated until he finally lost all his dinner and now is fighting the dry heaves.  I can't even get an anti-nausea pill into him for fear it'll just come right back up.  He feels miserable.  The good news is that this has been a very rare thing for him to get this sick.  The bad news is that he's this sick.  He's supposed to start another oral chemo drug tonight, but I'm obviously not giving it to him in this condition.  He's had enough for one day, and it can wait an extra day.

Andrea has been through the ringer these past few days (actually, I could just as easily insert "weeks", "months" or "years" there too) as well.  We think she's had a stomach bug and the family doctor she visited yesterday thought the same thing.  She'd done a sleep study a couple weeks ago and this visit was supposed to be reviewing the results, but they didn't seem to notice that they hadn't yet received them from the hospital yet. So despite frantic, last-minute calls, that didn't happen.  So now there will be another office visit once the results are in.  They'll no-doubt prescribe another several pills for her to start taking that won't be covered by insurance and will add to the hand-full she takes every day as it is.  I think I'll be attending that next meeting as well if at all possible.  Hope I don't need to start looking for another family doctor again, but I won't hesitate if I think things are not going in the right direction.

OK, I'm going to stop there.  My apologies if you've made it this far.  I feel better. LOL. :)  The truth is, we have an ENORMOUS amount to be thankful for that we DO know about, and way more than we could dream of that we don't know about, but Scripture promises.  I have a wonderful family and we're together this day and the future looks bright - next month, next year, and 1000 years from now.  We have much goodness to look forward too.  We knew this phase was going to be a mountain that needed climbing.  It's height and ruggedness came a little more into view today, but it will just be that much sweeter to be on the other side of it WHEN we get there ... and we will.

Lord please let us learn ALL that you have planned for us in these coming days - don't let any single second of difficulty or pain or struggle be lost for the good that You desire to bring from it.  We cling desperately to your promise that A.L.L.(*) things work together into a pattern for good ... (Rom 8:28)  Thank you.  Thank you for everything about today. Thank you for loving us and being here beside us every step of the way and for keeping our eyes on the far horizon.  Teach us to trust, teach us to love, teach us to enjoy "life in every breath."

Amen!  Thanks to everyone who is also running this race alongside us or cheering or handing us a water bottle on the way by.  We love you and appreciate every one of you.  Please keep your prayers coming - they are by FAR what we value and covet the most.  

Please also remember to pray for Joey, Nick, and Elizabeth Keller as often as possible.

I'm off to set up the air mattress beside Daniel's bed for the night.  

Grace and Peace,

- Tim -

A 3rd Try for Treatment Tomorrow

We're preparing tonight for the 3rd attempt at getting Daniel into the hospital for his next round of chemotherapy tomorrow morning.  This phase is dependent on his white blood cell counts being above a certain level before they'll give him the treatment. The past 2 times, they haven't been high enough (in fact last time was the lowest they'd been in awhile).  He's been very active lately and being around a lot more people that I'm comfortable with (any exposure to germs can drop his counts further as he's much more susceptible to infections now) - but that's also really been good for his morale and getting some badly-needed exercise and sunshine.  So it's a mixed bag and I've been a lot more "lenient" on letting him do things because I know the psychological side (as well as the exercise itself) may well outweigh the risk of keeping him protected.  But as you might imagine, with what's at stake here, I tend to be a little over-protective of our "only begotten son"!

Tomorrow, we'll find out whether I've been too lenient.  It's rather ironic that "good news" in this case will result in admission to the hospital, a spinal tap, and a 24-hr dose of extremely toxic drugs into him that warrant 24hr surveillance until they're completely eliminated from his body.  But at this point, we just want to get through this - and even more so - the next phase.  The next one is actually the one that worries me the most.  It's referred to as "delayed intensification" and as the name implies, it's another very intensive 2-months of chemo.  His hair has been starting to come back in, his energy is up, he's slowly rebuilding some strength and stamina, but that phase is very likely to knock him back down several rungs again.  He's been unusually lucky (ahem) thus far to have not lost all his hair.  I believe it's a direct answer to prayer ... one of those "little things" that God has been pleased to grant him through this trial.  That was a big deal for him, and he's been really happy to have not had to shave it completely.  But we're warned that the next phase may break our "streak" and result in him losing what he has left.  We'll see ... and continue to pray for that little blessing to continue.

Through it all, God has been wonderful to us.  We've had every need met, been surrounded by the best doctors, friends, and family, and been learning a lot about trusting God with the big things as well as the small things.  Yet despite how well things appear to be going right now, it's never far from out minds how quickly it could all turn south.  Through this experience, we've been surrounded by so many, MANY others who are traveling similar roads.  Many we've met cause us to realize just how blessed and how "easy" our road has been thus far.  I've learned a LOT about strength, sacrifice, endurance, the need and power of prayer, and the value of Christian community.  Most of what I've learned is how far short I fall in these areas compared to the amazing people that God has brought into our lives.  It is my fervent prayer that all of us will forever be changed by these lessons and that they will ever be as fresh as they are now.

Those who have come alongside us during this time - helping with projects at the house, preparing meals, helping Andrea with cleaning, shopping, helping us financially with house renovations and medical bills, watching Daniel, even staying with him over night at the hospital so that Andrea and I could get some much needed rest - the generosity and self-sacrifice of so many around has been staggering ... unimaginable.  We will NEVER be able to fully express our appreciation to those who have helped in these and so many other ways.  And as I've said so many times before, with total honesty, the help that I covet the most from people is not with finances, or swinging hammers, or watching Daniel (though again, we're incredibly grateful for all these), but rather with prayer.  I can tell you with absolute certainty that, during those sudden trips to the emergency room at 2am, or bad news from the doctors hitting us like a freight train, there's no amount of money that can hold a candle to 20 or 30 people commenting on a Facebook post that they are praying and have their family or churches praying for us too.  We can feel those prayers like a warm blanket around us as the Holy Spirit draws us close and reminds us that He is in control and that those prayers go up before Him like a "sweet aroma" petitioning for the life and health of our son and our family.

Thank you.  Deep, heart-felt, eternal, and profound thanks to each one of you who have been a part of our journey through some sacrifice of your own - even just a minute or two in prayer.  Thank you, and may our Lord multiply your generosity back to you many-fold and many times.

For those who ask for our prayer requests they are few and simple right now:
1) That IF it be the Lord's will and timing tomorrow, that Daniel's blood counts will allow us to move forward with his treatment in the morning,
2) That it will go well - no mistakes, no adverse reactions or side effects, etc.,
3) That the drug will do it's job and be eliminated from his body quickly so we can all go back home, ultimately, moving always toward complete healing and health,
4) That we will be a witness for our loving Father and continue to grow and learn through all this - especially Daniel, and as always,
5) That God would be glorified in all this.

Grace and peace to you all,

- Tim -

Weekends at the Hospital

(Mirroring our CaringBridge entry here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/danieljmiller/journal )

Weekends at the Hospital:

As I write this, Andrea and Daniel are off to the hospital again this morning for our next planned admission - the second of four for this phase of chemotherapy.  Though we're very grateful that the staff has agreed to shift these admissions to the weekend so that it's not so hard on us to stay the nights with Daniel, it doesn't make for a very enjoyable weekend for anyone.  Daniel was really dreading this again last night, but the good news is that there is no spinal tap this visit.  Finding that out made him a little happier.

I was rather surprised last night as I got out my copy of the chemotherapy protocol to which he's been assigned to see what was on the agenda for this weekend.  He actually got angry with me stating that he didn't want to see it, didn't want to be around it, and didn't think ANYBODY should have to "see their own chart".  I was dumbfounded.  It's such an opposite reaction to things like this than I had at his age when I underwent kidney surgery and had to go into the doctor twice a week for allergy shots in each arm growing up with fairly severe allergic asthma.  I wanted to learn about everything.  I had a collection of the hypodermic syringes (with needles broken off of course) - hundreds of them.  I even did a science fair project on how the kidney works.

But Daniel wants nothing to do with ANY of it and doesn't even want to have the subject discussed in his presence.  When we're not actually forced to be dealing with the subject, he wants it all as far from him as possible.  Clearly there's a LOT of psychological undertones here and most of this is a defense mechanism.  Some of it at least is unhealthy and I still look for opportunities to help him process through all that's happening.  I want to be sure he at least doesn't have false ideas or expectations about how things are going or his prognosis.  Worries and fears will kill us and we're not meant to carry such burdens even as adults.  Watching a 10 year old go through this - particularly one's own and only child - is soul wrenching.  On the positive side, he's been doing much better recently.  We've been looking for and finding more "fun" things to do and, with his counts improved, we've been able to have more visitors and get out more.  Last weekend, I took him to play LASER Tag - probably his new favorite activity - and that was a huge attitude boost for him.  He's been feeling & acting much more "back to normal" though he still doesn't get out of the house much.  This isn't so much because we won't let him as just the combination of schedules, weather, and limits to his own energy levels (not to mention Andrea's & mine).

I'm back at work today as I've been so much of the time this week, and last, and the one before that...  My team is up against some difficult deadlines and a LOT of people are stressed and putting in lots of hours.  I'm starting the day today with several hours of overtime already on my time card.  So in some ways, I'm actually looking forward to the hospital stays this weekend as I spend the evenings at least with Daniel.  It'll be the most I've seen of him all week.  I'm thankful that at least I'm enjoying the job.  That's an enormous blessing that I'm very thankful for in the midst of all this. 

PRAYER REQUESTS:
1. Please continue to pray for Daniel - he needs God's touch, reassurance, and comfort in his whole being - physical, mental, and spiritual. 
2. More & better family time for all of us, but especially Daniel, to bring more "FUN" into the equation to balance out the rest.
3. Better spiritual (and psychological & physical) leadership on my part so that I can help him process, recover, and build himself up in body, soul, & spirit
4. Along the same lines - that Daniel (and all of us) would be STRENGTHENED through these trials ... that they would accomplish God's purposes in our lives, working together for good both in us & through us to others.
5. Success and minimal (or NO) side-effects from the drugs or complications from all this
6. For Andrea and I as we struggle, seemingly more and more recently, with the stress, communication, and our own marriage through the midst of all this.
7. That God would be glorified in the midst of our family and by what others see / perceive in all this.  If God can use this as a witness or to help others in any way that brings glory to Himself, then all of it is worthwhile.

PS: Please also continue to pray for our friends the Kellers and their boy Joey.  Visit / join his CaringBridge site here; http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/joeykeller

The Start of Phase 3

The Start of Phase 3

(Mirrored on CaringBridge at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/danieljmiller/journal)

 Though the circumstances of last week's hospital visits were far from desirable, it has at least afforded us an extra week's break before the start of our third phase of chemo.  It's been great for Daniel and he's show a lot more energy and better attitude than we've seen in a long time.  It's been an enormous blessing to all 3 of us.

This third phase, called "Interim Maintenance 1" consists of 4 hospital stays (3-4 days each) over the next two months where Daniel will get extra high doses of the drugs Vincristine and Methotrexate.  You may have heard of that 2nd one in the news recently as it's been one of the chemo drugs that are currently in very short supply from generic pharma companies that can't make any money from it.  So far, Riley tells us they haven't had significant trouble in getting what they need.  (hint: 1st Prayer Request).

Because of the extra high doses of this already nasty drug, they need to have Daniel under close watch for a few days after giving it to him. (2nd Prayer Request).  Because Daniel is still terrified of having to stay in the hospital alone for any length of time, we'll have to be there with him the whole stay.  Andrea and I are getting pretty good at tag-teaming it, and we've been VERY grateful for some help from other friends in this regard along the way also.  THANKFULLY, the hospital was willing to reschedule these stays to be over weekends for us so I don't have to miss any more work (or try to continue working after staying at the hospital all night-NOT fun!) 

This first stay, beginning tomorrow (Fri) morning, will also include a spinal tap & injection of MORE Methotrexate into his spinal fluid.  I truly hate everything about the idea of what we're doing to him ... except for the part about killing the cancer.  I'm reminded of the scene in "The Ten Commandments" where Ramses is accusing Moses to the pharaoh and adding little weights onto a balance scale for each accusation until it tips his way.  But then Moses adds a single BRICK onto the other side outweighing all the other points.  Well the ONE benefit of chemotherapy is kinda like that to me.  It's ugly, dirty, nasty, and horrible to look at - but if it does the job, it FAR outweighs everything else.

Ultimately though, our trust is NOT in chemotherapy, or even in miracles.  Our trust is in the One who holds the future - regardless of what it brings.  And though we shudder, and cry, and lay awake long hours trying to turn off the awful thoughts and images of what might be in our weaker moments, we know in our hearts that there is only one Source of Hope.  For if God is not in control, or He is not good, or He does not have our best in mind ... well then there's no such thing as hope ... only luck, if even that.  But we know these things are true for we know the One who IS the Truth.  And we've put all the chips on His "square" as it were.  It's all or nothing on God. 

And so - as best our faith allows us, we say with Job, "yea though He slay me, yet will I trust in him" (Job 13:15)  or with Daniel's three friends Hananiah, Azariah, and Mishael, "...If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king.  But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up." (Dan 3:17-18)

Thanks for all your prayers and support.  We cherish and need every one.



- Tim -

P.S. Please also remember to keep Joey Keller and his parents in your prayers too.  Join their CaringBridge site here:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/joeykeller

Easter

(Mirroring most recent entry here:  http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/danieljmiller/journal)

Easter:

Andrea covered much of this in her update to my last post, so I'll not rehash the same events except to fill-in a few extras.

It was a really long night for all three of us.  We got here around 1:30a and weren't moved to a room until after 5:30a. So it was a REALLY long night for Andrea and I trying to catch a few winks between interruptions in a couple of really small, hard chairs. There wasn't even the usual bench/ couch in this particular ER room, and we had to bring in the 2nd chair at that.  I didn't get much sleep until after about 8 or so.  Although interrupted quite a few times, we both "slept" until about noon.  Daniel & I both tried resting a couple other times during the day, but it was pretty much a wasted effort. 

Any time we come in for a fever, they automatically do 4 different blood cultures.  They take two samples each from two different places (his port and his arm) and place samples in petri dishes in an automated machine that "watches" for anything to start growing.  In the past nothing has ever shown up. But the hospital started calling us about midnight last night when the machine found something growing.  Unfortunately, my phone was upstairs on the charger & it wasn't until they tried Andrea's phone about 1a that we got the message. 

We still haven't heard exactly what bacteria has been identified, but if only one of the 4 remains positive (nothing grows in the other 3 cultures), then there's a fairly high probability that it's just the result of some contamination in one of the samples.  But without knowing for sure, we have to take it seriously and hit him with a boatload of antibiotics - something I hate doing under NORMAL circumstances!  But I see very few choices here.  I strongly suspect that we won't see any additional cultures go positive (I think it was a contamination issue), but the extreme danger of actually having an infection with his almost nonexistent immune system means we have to take every possible precaution and hit it hard and aggressively - even if it's a false alarm.

After the incident with the other kid earlier today (all accidental of course, but nonetheless frustrating), the combination of some Tylenol and some food seems to have made things much better.  Much of the swelling has gone down and the second time they attempted to re-access the port, they called in the Nurse Supervisor who'd had a lot of experience.  It showed.  Things went quickly, easily, and with MUCH less pain than the previous time.  Our nurse was great, and he felt really bad about the whole ordeal, but we were also really glad he asked for help in this situation.

One of the antibiotics they give him is called Vancomycin. Unfortunately, many people have a low to moderately severe reaction to it known as "Red-Man Syndrome".  This happened to Daniel the first time he received it a few weeks ago.  He's gotten it once or twice since then with no problems since they adjust to giving it to him much more slowly and give him Benadryl first.  Tonight though, even after the Benadryl and with the slower rate, he started to feel some of the initial symptoms of a reaction and became worried about it.  I stopped the IV myself and went to talk to the nurse.  We decided to wait a bit, get some food in him, and then try again even more slowly.  The combination (together with watching "Transformers" on TV :) did the trick and we had no further issues.  But it's all combined to just make a really long day.  If it weren't for the basket of toys they gave him, you'd have never known it was Easter around here.  But we'll be sure we get time to celebrate as a family - whether it's here in a hospital room, or back home.

As Andrea said, his next phase of chemotherapy is due to start this coming Friday.  But it will require that his white cell counts are over a certain level that he's not even close to right now.  Mixed emotions over that to say the least!
Nevertheless, I find myself at the end of this day with a grateful heart.  Having watched "The Passion of the Christ" on Friday evening as a family, we have all been struck this weekend with the unfathomable suffering and selflessness that our Lord Jesus Christ underwent on our behalf.  Our own trials and tribulations are insignificant and, in Paul's words, but a "breath" compared to His eternal sacrifice for us.  It makes me feel ashamed to complain or, even for a moment, feel sorry for ourselves compared to what Jesus Christ did on our behalf. 

Many Christians don't realize that Jesus' sacrifice was not limited to those few hours leading up to Golgotha a couple thousand years ago.  Rather, it was Jesus willingness to condescend from His position with the Father in order to become a Man ... one of us ... not just for thirty some years, but FOREVER.  Perhaps the most staggering thing about what God did on our behalf all those years ago, was not that God would die on our behalf (though that is incomprehensible enough), but that there is now a MAN seated at the right hand of the Father on the throne of God.  What Jesus Christ gave up in order to become one of us (note that He never ceased to be God, only laid aside some of his glorious attributes that He might also become fully human - Phil 2:6-9).
Paul considered it a great privilege and a necessary part of the process by which the Holy Spirit perfects His work in us, that we must participate "in the fellowship of His suffering" (Phil 3:10).  And so if, in some small measure, these trials which God has allowed into our lives, might teach us something about our Lord ... much less make us in any way more like Him ... then we can truly rejoice in these things with much thanksgiving that God is at work in us and through us to make A.L.L. "things work together into a pattern for Good." (Rom 8:28) 

Each day God finds a new way to ask each of us, "Do you trust Me?".  And though we certainly find ourselves wavering far more often than we'd like, it becomes a bit easier each time to trust Him with A.L.L. things.  ("Control" is such an illusion anyway, isn't it? :)

Though we celebrate Easter as one of the central-most holy days of the Christian Calendar, it is important to recognize that the entirety of the means of our salvation was accomplished 3 days and nights earlier on a wooden cross on the top of a hill named Golgotha.  The Resurrection 3 days later proved that He was Whom He said He was and accomplished what He said He would accomplish.  Easter is rightly a time of enormous celebration, but all of Time and Eternity revolves around the Cross and Jesus' proclamation ... "Tetelestai": "It is finished".

We hope everyone has had a joyful and fruitful time of celebrating Jesus' resurrection and drawing closer to Him through these past few days.  Our gratitude and love go out to all of you who have kept us with our saga during these trying times, but mostly to our Faithful, Loving, Gracious, and Wonderful Counselor - the King of the Universe, Master Physician, and Personal Friend - "Jesus Christ: God's Son; Savior".

Grace and Peace to all;

Daniel, Andrea, and Tim

Back to In-Patient Status

(Mirroring our CaringBridge Entry here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/danieljmiller/journal)

 Back to In-Patient Status

Sorry the news has been slow in coming lately. It's not because there hasn't been any - just struggling to keep ahead of it recently!

Last week, Daniel received his medication for the osteoporosis, something he only gets once every 4 mos or so.  He was almost immediately a "new kid" again. He was feeling great, active, and happy - a real joy for all of us.  This rebound has been typical of getting that particular medication and it was the last round, when he didn't bounce back, that was the first clue leading us toward the leukemia discovery.  So this was a breath of fresh air for us.

About that same time, he received his "little gift" from the Indiana Make-A-Wish Foundation (they're awesome) which was a giant Star Wars Lego kit.  He had it built in less than 24hrs of working time and was very eager to show it off at his homeschool co-op's Lego Club on Thurs.  Dad (being the over-protective meany) was reluctant to let him go, but caved in the end simply because it was SO important to Daniel.  He was ecstatic ... a little too ecstatic.  Not only did he go to Lego club, but also participated in PE that day. He had a ball, and I was really glad for him. 

I was also expecting the return of a fever that has typically shown up in the evenings after times of "over-doing it".  It didn't show up until the following day and was fairly minor, so I didn't think much about it.  acetaminophen had usually done the trick and all was good.  But it didn't this time.  It kept coming back, and by mid-day on Saturday, it was hitting 103 so we headed to the ER again.  Same story - drew blood, start cultures, give him an antibiotic, and, because his white cell counts were good (strong immune system), sent us home.  But this time, unlike previous times, the fever wasn't gone.  We watched it through the rest of the weekend and up to his clinic visit on Friday - always toying with the threshold at which we're supposed to take him in.  The acetaminophen would usually help, but before long, it was back. 

It was around 100 at his clinic visit on Tuesday, but everything went ahead as planned.  Long-story less long, today (Thurs), we were back in the clinic after hitting over 103 last night and they've decided to admit him to the hospital.  In the past 5 days, his white cells (which had been going up) suddenly plummeted from 2300 down to 510 (normal range is 1400-8800).  500 Would be an automatic admission to the hospital.  When they also found his blood pressure to be low (and dad said he'd prefer they keep him to watch him anyway rather than running back and forth to the ER) they decided to admit him.

Unfortunately, having been spoiled last time, he was pretty unhappy to find he has a roommate this time, an older (teenager) whom I haven't met yet.  Andrea has been with him all day and I'll be heading that way shortly (still trying to make up time at work for having gone to the clinic with him on Tues) and staying the night with him.

The docs' best guess is that it's a virus, but the screwy blood cell counts, and lack of any other symptoms have everyone scratching their heads.  At this point, it's simply a waiting game to see how the fever and blood counts do after he gets fluids & antibiotics.  We were told that 99% of fevers never have their cause determined. I'm not sure that's particularly helpful, but it is more comforting than hearing "wow, I've never seen anything like THAT before" - which I've heard way too many times in my own life as well as about Andrea!!  :)

Nevertheless, we're confident that God is still God and still in control and Romans 8:28 is still there (I just checked!)  We are thankful for so very many things, and we can still praise and trust Him through all things.  We're here for a reason, and we trust that He will bring us through in a way that glorifies Him and blesses us ... perhaps later if not sooner ... but always a certainty.

We appreciate your prayers for, among other things:

1. Our wonderful Father would be glorified through this and all things,
2. The cause of the fever and low blood pressure, whatever it is, would curl up and die!  NOW!!  :)
3. Daniel's emotional health and endurance. He's really been struggling lately with depression & being overwhelmed,
4. Andrea's own health, energy, and endurance (it's tough enough to go through this for your child without also struggling with having cancer herself!)
5. Strength, perseverance, peace, and joy for us all.
6. Being able to keep all the "logistics" worked out between Andrea & I with work, the house, the dogs, etc.
7. That I would be able to keep on top of lesson planning for my Bible study.

- Tim -

Scares & Blessings: Part of the Ride

Mirroring the CaringBridge Post here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/danieljmiller/journal

It's been awhile since our last update.  In general, no news is good news, but it's just plain been B-U-S-Y!  Having started teaching an evening Bible study course in Genesis last week, it's been a real challenge to keep up with all that's going on.  But it has also been a blessing and a joy for me to finally get back to teaching the Bible again - one of my great loves. 

Daniel is now well into the 2nd, or "Consolidation" phase of his chemotherapy.  Each phase except the last is about 2 months long.  Unfortunately, we discovered last week that there are FIVE phases instead of the 3 we thought were coming.  So an extra 4 months before we get to the less-intense Maintenance phase, was not welcome news at all.  Each of the first 4 phases are intensive, and the 3rd one (April - May) will involve 4 pre-planned admissions to the hospital so they can watch him closely as one of the nastier of the poisons we're injecting him with is administered. 

As the weeks go by and I see the damage and reactions Daniel has to these drugs, I've been growing more and more upset at the thought of the what I'm forced to subject my son to.  Yes, I know it's the right course and I have no regrets or need of encouragement that it's the right thing to do.  But knowing it's right doesn't make it any easier for a father to subject his son to torture ... a tiny glimpse of God the Father watching the events of the crucifixion unfold.  What we're going through is nothing close, but it does at least offer some insight.  For me, it's that much more difficult knowing that it's entirely possible that Daniel may have already been completely healed from this disease and none of this is even necessary.  But God has not chosen to confirm that fact to me as yet, and so I am confident that this is the wisest choice. But it sucks no matter how you cut it.  Nevertheless, we rest in the knowledge of God's perfect goodness, grace, love, faithfulness, and knowledge of what this will bring in all our lives. 

Sometimes the experience reminds me of riding a commercial aircraft.  Being a pilot myself, I really REALLY want to be up front in that left seat - knowing what the flight plan is, the en route weather report, our exact position, nearest traffic and Pireps along the way, and when the next course change is coming up.  Sitting in the back with the flight deck door locked is frustrating.  But I always opt for a window seat so at least I can enjoy the never-gets-old beauty and joy of flying along the way.  The rest is in the hands of the guys up front ... who have a LOT more hours-in-type than I do and, whether I admit it or not, are MUCH better qualified than I to get the job done.

Yesterday (Tues) was supposed to be a short clinic day, though it did include a spinal procedure.  I had hoped to avoid going altogether as I'm trying desperately to keep up with a growing workload at work, but Daniel's face, when I told him I wasn't planning on going, put a quick end to those ideas.  His words were something to the effect, "I don't know why, but I always feel better and more relaxed when you're there when I'm having a procedure."  Well that ended that conversation didn't it?!  I'm putty.  Nuff said.

At least I've learned enough about this game to know to drive separate now since my class starts at 6:30p (unfortunately on the same days as our regular clinic visits now.)  So even though they scheduled an additional 4-hour IV infusion without letting us know in advance, I was able to head out after he got out of recovery and get a couple hours in at work before heading home for Bible study. 

The day, however, was just determined to NOT be uneventful.  As they started to give Daniel one of the nastier drugs in the arsenal (PEG-Asparaginase for the initiated) the nurse let me know that it is not uncommon to have an adverse reaction to it and she showed me how to stop the IV.  About 15 minutes into it, Daniel asked, "Dad, is there something I'm supposed to be looking for?"  I didn't understand his question at first, but a couple questions later I realized he was responding to something I'd said to him a couple weeks ago about watching for signs of reactions when a drug is administered.  He made it clear something was not right and he was feeling dizzy and having difficulty breathing. I immediately stopped the IV and Andrea went after the nurse.  In moments, our little cubicle was filled with nurses and doctors taking blood pressure and scrambling to get an infusion of Benadryl started.  His throat closed up, he became very flushed, and was bordering on panic before things started to calm down, but we were lucky to have caught things so soon and had a VERY quick response from the medical team on the floor.  Thanks to Daniel saying something so quickly!  I'm also really glad I had the conversation with him earlier about paying attention when a new drug is administered!

Everything was back to "normal" (which itself is a fast-moving target these days) in 10-15 minutes and he was conked out from the Benadryl.  The spinal procedure went about like normal (i.e. his blood pressure and pulse skyrocket as they prepare him and I give him a back rub to try (ineffectively) to keep him calm.  Nurse Sharon was there to do the procedure, so I stayed and had no problems.

Last week didn't go well at all.  He was so wound up, it took 3x the normal sedative to get him out, and then the doctor was there to do the procedure instead of Sharon, and wasn't doing well at getting the needle in the right spot.  Apparently, she's still "practicing" medicine! :(  I had to leave again.  That's the second time I've not been able to stay in the room - both times were when the doctor was performing the procedure instead of the nurse.  Go figure.

Anyway, though it took him awhile to wake up (because of the Benadryl), in a little bit, he was happily chowing down on a hotdog buried in ketchup and mustard and asking for the portable Wii to be brought in for him to play.

To help balance the day a bit, when Daniel and Andrea finally got home (sometime after I left to teach my class), they found that the Indiana Make-A-Wish Foundation had actually come through with locating and purchasing a rare LEGO set that Daniel had asked for.  (They're AWESOME!!!)  The huge box was sitting on the doorstep and by the time I got back home, Daniel had completely covered the Dining Room table with the pieces and was already half done with the two-part gigantic models.  You can check out the pictures Andrea took of the process (finished this morning) here: https://www.facebook.com/tmiller42

A huge thanks again to everyone thinking about and praying for us.  God has been answering them wonderfully!!

Grace and Peace to you all.

- Tim -

Glimpses of Eternity

Most things that come into our lives, whether good or bad, come and go without us ever really recognizing any eternal significance.  We tend not to question the good things that come our way; they’re good after all, we enjoy them for what they are and probably don’t even care whether there is significance beyond that immediate joy.  But the hard times give us pause. We wonder, perhaps hypocritically, “why did this have to happen?”  And we of faith look to God for answers.  Usually, we don’t get specifics other than a reassurance that God is in control; that all things work together for good; and trials produce patience and character and draw us closer to God.  And that is enough.  And it should be enough.  God owes none of us an explanation for what He does or why He does it, and His Master Plan is just that … HIS.  We couldn’t grasp it if we wanted to in our limited minds, knowledge, and existence.

Perhaps one of the most important lessons that can come from such times is this very recognition – God owes us no answers – and we MUST make peace with that fact.  The TRUST He expects of us, after all,  doesn’t come with qualifications: “I’ll trust you IF You tell me what’s going on”, or “IF You explain to me the eternal significance”.  Trust means we believe that God is God and we’re not.  Hope means resting in the knowledge that the future will be good because of what we know about God’s nature … so much so that we can be assured “that ALL things work together into a pattern for good” because God is Who He is.  He is loving and He is love itself.  He is righteous and righteousness itself.  He is graciousness and He is grace itself.  He is good and He is goodness.  For Love, Righteousness, and Grace do not exist apart from Him. They have their definition and existence in His character.  As I wrote in an earlier post, we can never hold God’s actions up against some independent standard of love, or righteousness, or grace because no such standard exists.  He IS the standard and these ideas exist in the first place because of Who He is.  Without God, there is no such thing as love or righteousness or grace.   And one of the most important and foundational truths that we can learn as we see Christian maturity is to trust Him for all things, at all times, in every situation, without explanation, without excuse, and without WHINING!  

The purpose of this life is NOT to make us happy and give us an easy time of it.  In fact, we’ve been promised quite the opposite – that this life will be difficult, the path will be narrow, and it will be filled with trials.  Learning these truths does not make it much easier to go through the dark valleys, but it does help process the things God allows to come our way and helps keep our focus on the Way forward.  I’ve heard it taught that we shouldn’t pray for God to remove the trials from our lives, but rather that the lessons they bring would not be lost.  That’s sound wisdom.  I’m afraid I’m not quite there yet though and I most certainly find myself regularly praying for deliverance and a swift end to suffering, be it my own or my loved ones.  Maybe one day I’ll be better at that part.  But when the answer comes back “Not yet”, it’s a little easier to understand why when I recognize my place in His eternal perspective.

Nevertheless, every once in awhile, He does give us the gift of a small glimpse into His plan – into the eternal clockworks of the awesome machinery that drives the universe forward according to His will and design.  We should always be extremely grateful when He allows us such insights, no matter how tiny.  And the glimpse I received a few days ago, if that’s even what it was, is indeed a tiny one.  But it brought me great joy to see the working of God’s hand in our lives and to be able to assign even a little “purpose” to an event that had actually caused great pain in my family’s and my lives.

If you’ve followed recent event in my blog here at all, you probably know about the misdiagnosis of Daniel’s leukemia that happened a couple weeks ago.  After having been told that Daniel’s condition was a more easily treatable type of disease and that the current success rate was in the 90-95% range, we got a devastating blow.  A very specialized cytogenetic test was done and when the results came back, they indicated that Daniel had a rare condition that was linked to a much lower probability of success.  In an instant, his prognosis dropped from 95% down to 60% or lower.  I briefly described the sensation of the world collapsing in around me in that instant and my own inability to even breathe.  There were some sleepless nights, enormous amounts of prayer, and a wrestling match with Fear that would have put Rocky to shame.  All of this served as an indicator of my own poor faith and shone the light on a number of areas that needed improvement.  But it also prompted a single text message to a good friend that set off a chain reaction resulting in a trip the following day to see an Amish healer named Solomon Wickey.  

I wrote briefly about this trip in an earlier post, but to summarize, we were granted a rare “emergency” appointment with this man who is known and respected literally world-wide for his healing ministry and has literally healed thousands of people from life-threatening and terminal diseases over his 30+ years of ministry.  We were in his presence for not much more than 10-15 minutes and he pronounced Daniel as having been “released” from the disease that was threatening his life.  We weren’t sure what to think.  We’re STILL not sure what to think.  I continue to await God’s direct confirmation to me of Daniel’s complete deliverance from Leukemia, but until that happens I feel I have no choice but to continue forward with the traditional approach – hoping – praying – believing that he is in fact completely healed.  And though the doctors reported only a few days later that Daniel had in fact responded ASTOUNDINGLY well to the first 2 weeks of treatment and was unexpectedly already in complete remission (they neglected to use the word “miraculous” of course! :-) I still don’t feel I have enough confirmation to pull him off of the chemotherapy.  Only about 2 days later, the doctors discovered a mistake in the interpretation of the genetic testing results and immediately came back to us stating that he was NOT in a super-high risk category after all.  His prognosis was still in fact in the 90-95% range and they apologized for the error.  Obviously, this was a huge relief to everyone and we thanked God for, in a sense, restoring our son to us (ala Abraham & Isaac in Gen 22)  But anyway, that’s not the point of this story.

It was a couple weeks later before it finally dawned on me that, had the doctor’s error in interpreting the test results not occurred – the tiny mistake that made for perhaps the darkest and most difficult weekend of my life thus far – I almost certainly would never have made the trip up to see Solomon Wickey.  And though I don’t know the results of that trip for certain, I tend to believe that some miraculous things happened at that time in all our lives.  And so the “lights came on” about how, in just this tiny little instance, God in fact kept His promise in a powerful way … that something that had the appearance of evil DID in fact work together into a pattern for good.  His hand was there at work the whole time, through the whole ordeal.  Not only was the trip up to see Solomon prompted, but I learned a number of things about areas in my own life needing work as well as some areas where God has already made improvements in me.  An enormous amount of prayer support was generated, and also wheels were set in motion that we believe will be bringing forth a series of events to help bring awareness, raise money, and bring additional glory to God through some good friends of ours (but more on that another time).  

It was literally in the same few minutes that I received this small revelation that God brought another thought to my mind.  If you’ve read my previous blogs, you’ve already seen this, but I had been contemplating (for obvious reasons now), Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”  Suddenly, the word “ALL” came to the center of my attention.  I’ve literally heard entire sermons preached on the meaning and significance of this word in the context of this passage.  It’s a powerful word.  But what made it especially significant to ME at this particular point in time was the recognition that these 3 letters A-L-L are also those used in the abbreviation of Daniel’s particular brand of leukemia.  It’s properly titled “Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia” – A.L.L.  And so, right after God’s revelation of how He had used the doctors’ mistake to in fact bring a unique blessing into our lives, He pointed out that … EVEN “A.L.L. things work together for good for those who love God…”

-          - Tim -